im really tired now.. wake up in d morning.. then go to workshop check out my granpa car.. then visit my grandma.. n send toksu back.. yea..then when reach home.. ariel keep mad n sulking wif me.. n qbayy didnt online..

when i visit toksu house.. its really hurt me.. see this hen didnt go wif other.. still sitting there.. didnt move.. didnt eat almost  a month.. i know coz it didnt move.. n when we move it, it will cry n mad.. losing all her egg sure its really painful.. see other hen wif their kids... then we do bbq.. many cats try to steal it.. >_< wew.. wait there.. still hot.. after that taking bath at river..

but maybe too tired.. i didnt enjoy like b4.. keep sleeping in car.. n when reach home i open my id just to see him.. but nothing.. ariel keep say im wif qbayy.. hey.. he didnt online.. n he say i always wif qbayy when hes not around.. am i? ok im sorry i lie.. i love qbayy too maybe..but coz he already married.. i start to avoid him n try not to see that.. i know it will hurt d one who near me.. but its too hard.. i really want ariel in same time.. coz i fall in love wif him at first.. b4 i know his game..

he said hes hurt coz me.. then im more hurt wif his game.. okay let me tell u.. UR EX at ur fb relationship? wow.. so close u r still can call each other baby.. n can say both of u will get married.. then ur charm..she still say both of u will get married soon.. wow.. how many girls u gonna married now? i tot u said in ur country only allow u to marry wif 1 girl.. and u said if u can marry 4 u still dont want right? now whos really hurt? me or u? its really mean..

i told u.. 1 step will change everything.. 1 step u flirt me.. u know u will lose ur 2 gf.. maybe u got more.. n 1 step more u really melt my heart.. but not anymore.. u keep hurt me.. i really miss that old time..when everyone just stranger.. n i cant remember who they r..

im sorry my dear.. but like other said.. we cant b together.. how can i make ur wife sad? if im hurt by knowing other ppl wif my lover.. how she feel when know his husband cheat on her? its really stressed me out.. why i cant get normal relationship.. when theres no fighting.. no tri-love.. im not pretty like other girls.. im not kind like others.. why all of u need to say love me.. im not wishing for that.. i just want sum1 that will love me till im die.. sum1 that will take care of me n we will grow old together.. sum1 that always make me calm.. really tired now..


stop it.. idiot qbayy.. keep playing my char yesterday said i love u qbayy.. hey thats not me.. i didnt say that.. stop it.. its not a joke.. im really afraid this will turn more bad.. ariel.. dont misunderstand wif me.. stop sulking.. i didnt mean anything.. waaaaaaaaaaa i just wanna shout now.. please anyone.. just kill me..

mmy neighbour kill himself last night.. coz he fough wif his wife n then his wife run from home.. n he kill himself.. -_- indian.. forget it..

hey my idiot prince.. please c0me fast.. my heart already full of scars n wound..stars.. im wishing HE is my prince.. i cant promise him 100 babies like he want.. but i will grow old wif him.. i cant promise ill b angel for him.. but he will always b my beast... i really think my beast will come for me even im not belle.. hey u promise will come for me.. n we will get married.. or is that just a lie? im tired hear that.. but when u say that i keep hoping for that.. i keep dreaming u this 3 days... every night i dream bout weird..

n i keep writting n typing coz u.. i really want u now.. i hope i can ignore u n forget u.. but too hard..

title please

its really hard to take care everyone heart.. yea im crying now.. i cant lie my ex keep calling but i didnt answer.. mrB calling too.. but i didnt answer it too.. n now.. ariel jealous wif qbayy again.. i saw him wif his LOVER... n ariel saw me wif qbayy.. all too complicated.. im really stress.. wif 2 indo ppl in game so fanatic n creating war.. im not saying bout country.. but this 2 ppl.. coz even indo ppl in this game hate them.. thats mean they really have soul problem.. n think i said bad things bout them when i said, go pray now coz ive done n im more calm n didnt mad like crazy ppl.. wew.. i know when im mad really like crazy ppl.. shouting alone.. so im just asking that..

but d most funny things they call everyone dogs n idiot.. but actually they r d idiot.. coz they cant understand english.. n shouting alone when no one answer.. silly right?

waaaaaaaaa... please smile.. my heart.. please dont beat like this.. its really hurt.. grrr.. dont love him or any guy now.. please heart listen to me.. u avoid qbayy b4 coz he married.. so its not possible to avoid ariel.. soon he will marry his girl.. please wake up.. theres no love for me.. maybe got.. but maybe he already die.. coz till now he didnt spawn yet.. only that i can think..wew.. i just recover.. now my fever back again.. feel dizzy..

atleast i never lie like u ariel.. when i saw u wif ur spouse at fb.. u said she just ex.. but she said she is ur gf.. when u say u duno she change ur fb cover n dp.. i know u lie.. coz u like that pic n she comment it.. if she change it.. she wont talking wif herself there.. n when u say u love me i know thats not true.. coz if u love me.. u wont treat me like this.. u duno bout me too.. i saw u happy wif ur 2 gf there.. so u dont need 3rd gf or u will b more troubled..coz im d trouble maker..

what wif my heart? its not important.. coz i believe 1 day.. my prince will come n take me away from all this.. even 10000 girls flirting he will said im d only one.. i believe that.. feel like ive heard it b4... but not from my prince.. ariel used to said that.. but only 1 time.. n im sure his girl didnt online that time.. nvm.. ill search sum1 who willing to do that for me.. n ill wait d guy who really sincere n honest wif me.. n sum1 who didnt love me coz my face.. im tired wif all compliment.. always bout my appearance.. not my inner..

in this time i really cant think anything except qbayy words.. find sum1 in my real life who will bring happiness.. n ariel shud thanks to qbayy.. if qbayy didnt scold me.. ariel wont have a chance to b wif me.. even just for short time.. thats girl heart.. if u throw it n other ppl take it n take care.. u will lose that heart.. n maybe sum1 will take my heart.. for sure i dont want sum1 from my past.. coz they already dissapoint me..

if i can choose.. i just want honest guy that will love me n take care me till my last breath.. he will patience when im mad.. n he will never leave me.. he will comfort me when im cry.. n he will b my imam n guidance.. is it too much?


feel so cold tonight.. i cant sleep anymore.. its really hurt me.. how stvpid i am.. i shud stop believing what guy promise.. this joke is d worse thing happen to me.. qbayy right i shud not easily believe in others.. but he hurt me first.. now ariel.. yea thats ur ex... so sweet u can hug n kiss her.. share same ring.. now u set all ur fb full of ur photo wif her.. thx b4.. im off my skype now..

dont worry.. ill forget all this soon.. i told u.. im used to it.. no guys sincere n honest wif me... u know why i never say i love u to any guy? coz this will happen.. d love have lose its meaning.. u regret know d real me? yea.. im more crazy than u know.. n FYI im more regret knowing u.. if i know u will keep telling a lie.. i will stay away from u.. u really idiot.. u hate me call that? but thats what u looks like.. u dont know d meaning of love.. its not just to have fun n make love.. but trust and loyal to each other..

if u love me u wont do that...
if u love me u wont cheat on me..
if u love me u will never accused me..
if u love me u will never doubt me..
if u love me u wont hurt me..
if u love me u wont say u will leave me..
unless tomorrow is d end of ur life...

(feel more irrittating.. bro can u go away n stop asking me? n stop making sound when u eat..)

really stress n tired now..... hey? why all guy i met n know keep cheating on me? sometimes i feel better didnt get married coz guy never honest when wif me... (stop it bro.. dont mess wif me now) lazy to type coz my bro.. but for u ariel arandia.. thx 4 ur fake love..

bad bad day

really stress.. everything not smooth today.. keep fight wif all of them.. first my friend kitkat.. i fight wif him coz he cheat me n say bad things till hurt me.. then everyone really annoying me.. n ariel accuse me say he saw me wif qbayy sitting together.. grrr.. he really make me mad.. n qbayy.. he shud reject my team invitation if he already do.. waste all.. grrrrrrrrr.... now i really hate them..

ok i know my fault.. bout qbayy yes its my fault.. but others problem all start from them.. well i told u its normal if im act like small kid but not all of u.. i admit im still small.. not like u.. already almost 13.,. still fighting wif kids like me.. grrrrrrrrrrr...

and my mom.. she really addict to bowling now.. maybe thats good.. atleast she got sumthng to do other than sleep n driving.. better that way.. me? well.. who say i dont have activity.. mine better.. everyday i chat n typing.. but lately i feel its like b4.. im sick again.. i dont know why.. but i realize sumthng.. im skinny than b4.. yea ao said i look more fad coz she didnt see me for a long time.. but daidai n ao bro said im more slim now.. actually my face too.. not chubby like b4.. im blood vomit again.. hmmm.. actually i already know why this happen.. but i duno why its hard for me to accept that.. its from my mom.. my illness from my mom..

my blood not like others.. n ive got lungs problem.. its hard to tell u this.. coz i actually dont understand what its mean.. i dont want to hear what they said that time.. coz it make me feel how useless i am.. cant protect myself.. normal if im faint.. normal if anythings happen.. lately i almost faint n shaking everytime i sad o mad... b4 only shaking.. if i mad i will faint... if i cry my head feel almost explode...

this blog already like my diary... but diary that i dont tell others d bad most bad things happen to me.. n d most big sin i ever do... am i pretender? pretend to b angel.. n pretend like no one try to kill me.. they do more bad than killing me;.. n i do more bad things than killing others..


grrrr... my teeth.. >_< baru nak dewasa chi ni.. hehe.. kenapa? alkisahnye camni.. beberapa bulan lepas tumbuh gigi bongsu atas dah 2.. ok cool... now dari semalam sakit gile sebab gigi bawah plak tumbuh.. yang sebab makan kacang la ni... dah effect.. pasni xmo makan yang keras2..

owh yea.. we didnt skype yesterday.. shud i write his name? not good calling him a clone.. maybe he looks almost like taeyang.. but a bit diff.. only his serious face looks same.. btw.. his name Ariel.. i cant tell his real name here =P how if he type his name n found this.. >__< but yesterday he pm me.. he said he love me so much.. he even told it at world chat.. do u think he know my blog? waaaaa... ( my teeth still hurts.. brrr)

quite difficult actually.. all my fault.. i shud not fall in love so easily... i cant resist sweet words n its trap me in this condition.. always.. but i know.. ariel bit hurt reading what i post to fb... if u dont love her.. dontsay u love her n if u cant keep promise dont make a promise.. wew.. but at fortuna he still kidding.. he said he want 100 babies... im not babies factory.. grrr... then he said please give 3 babies that have same eyes wif him... >__< OME~~~ what shud i do... i know thats normal words.. but it really effect my heart..

why almost every guy i met love sweet talking.. but ariel.. he keep calling me princess n d only one said im matured.. see.. im not kids.. wew.. my heart cant stop thinking this lyrics.. "Dont wanna break ur heart.. wanna give ur heart a break.." what shud i do? brrrr... idk why this happen.. grrrr... nvm.. tell more later..

ceritera belantara (kuro la ni.. versi 1)

chiyo ~ alkisah
chibi ~ ramai binatang yang hadir meraikan pada suatu hari..
chiyo ~ sang kancil telah lahir kedunia
chibi ~ ramai binatang yang hadir meraikan
chiyo~ semua tertanya2 nama anak kancil itu.. ibunya memberi nama kuro
chibi ~ sang kancil membesar menjadi kancil yang bijaksana
chiyo ~ sedang dia membesar dia terjumpa arnab putih bermata merah
chibi ~ arnab itu bernama shiro.. setiap hari mereka bermain bersama di dalam hutan
chiyo ~ satu hari shiro diburu pemburu haram nak dibuat sate arnab
chibi ~ hampir sahaja pemburu itu menangkap shiro, seekor musang muncul menyelamatkan shiro
chiyo ~ musang tu gigit kaki pemburu..
chibi ~ shiro segera melarikan diri ke dalam semak
chiyo ~ shiro pun menceritakan segalanya kepada kuro
chibi ~ kuro pada masa itu sedang sibuk menjamah selera,.. tiba-tiba musang yang telah menyelamatkan shiro tadi muncul
chiyo ~ shiro dan kuro menjerit ketakutan... "kuro cepat la fikir nak buat apa" arah shiro
chibi ~ "larilah nak abuat ape lagi.." jwb kuro
chiyo ~ wuaaaa..... tiba2 musang berkata2.. "woi.. aku bukan nak makan korang ingat sedap sangat macam ayam KFC?" 
chibi kuro ckp " tau pulak rse ayam kfc mcm mne.."
chiyo "aku kan selalu curi ayam pakcik kfc.. makan ayam mentah sakit perut nanti" balas musang
chibi "jadi ko nk ape dtg sini?" tanye kuro pada musang
chiyo "arnab tu belum bagi hadiah selamatkan dia. aku nak tuntut hadiah"
chibi "hadiah ape ko nk bg?" tanye kuro pada shiro
chiyo "bukan aku yang bagi! aku nak hadiah dari korang berdua" sampuk musang
chibi "sape kte ko yg bg musang? aku tanye shiro die nk bg ape kt ko,.." kate kuro..
chiyo "errr... shiro tak ada duit.. boleh tak shiro tawarkan persahabatan?"
chibi~chiyo~chibi~chiyo~chibi~chiyo~chibi~chiyo~chibi~~~~~ (ok tergendala punya lama.. biar chiyo sambung >_<)

"apa aku dapat kalau bersahabat dengan korang?" tanya musang acuh tak acuh..
"kau tak akan kesunyian lagi.." balas Shiro..
musang berfikir sejenak.. ya dia memang sunyi.. cuma ditemani kakak si musang..
"nama aku ao" musang menghulurkan tangannya..
"aku kuro, ni shiro" balas kuro..
"AOOOOOO.... AOOOOO... balik la kak ngah.." terdengar suara yang mendayu2 ala2 siti nurhaliza..
"kak.. ao dekat sini.. kenalkan ni kawan angah shiro dengan kuro" ao tersenyum riang..
tapi tidak kuro dan shiro.. mereka peluk ketakutan.. tak mustahil mereka akan dimakan.
"woii! apsal korang ni? aku aka.. kakak ao.." aka sedar mereka takut melihatnya..
sejak dari hari tu mereka sentiasa bersama.. kadang2 mencuri ayam pakcik KFC juga bersama2.. almaklum la haiwan mane ade duit nak beli.. XD
TO BE CONTINUED... (cik kuro tolong sambung.. aye tak bersalah =P)

dont read

waaaaa.. really miss my blog... i never forget my blog.. but qbayy already found my blog.. by typing my name at google.. i cant b honest now..but lately we dont talk much.. he busy wif his work n  i try to forget my feeling towards him by skyping sum1 looks like taeyang.. at first he really good friend.. but his gf jealous.. n he said they already broke up.. n i think he lie.. if he really broke up.. that girl wont always b beside him.. n not only that girl.. i think he have 1 more girl that he really love.. he said her ex too but now his friend.. why a friend will say "i love u so much" wif sweet calling..?yea he say he love me.. but he said to that girl he love her so much..

he said he will graduate either march or october n will come here for me.. i think he lie too.. coz got 1 time he said.. but dont put too much hope.. idk.. i just think he keep to many secret wif me.. n by telling in his country they only allowed to have 1 wife.. i told him im islam n islam let guy have 4 wife.. n he said he wont do that.. idk but he keep promise... so i told him i dont like promise.. dont promise if he cant keep it.. or it will only hurt me later.. but we gone too far now.. but he always sad when im wiff qbayy.. he still lost to qbayy.. coz i keep say no to him n wait qbayy.. but qbayy never believe me.. he even mad at me n say im flirting all guy..

i wonder how qbayy life now.. is it better without me? after all.. i cant force this.. my grandpa sis call my mom last night.. she so excited want match me wif  some guy she know.. grrrr... i dont want!!! please search for ur grandchild >_< i know man love to enjoy.. but they more older than me.. dont ask me first.. i know i really wanna get married b4.. but not anymore..

mrB? its already long time i didnt contact him.. let he think whatever he want.. my ex gone crazy.. he msg my fb.. he will kill all my boyfriend.. n he keep talk bad bout me.. he said i go out wif many guys.. but my dad laugh.. coz i never go out anywhere except wif my family or kuro.. or he blind till see kuro like a boy? wow.. a boy wif shawl...

i dont mind bout them.. coz i dont care anymore.. even he msg bout his marriage.. so what? why u mad when u say wont disturb me n then disturb again? gosh.. if i didnt reply mean its not important.. just like i said b4.. stay back from my friend n sis.. dont u ever dare to touch them..

my hearts.. my feelings... i really hate this.. qbayy please dont read my blog.. i wish i can write all this without hiding any feelings.. n taeyang clone.. sorry keep hurting u.. sorry im not like other girls.. remember first skype? u so nervous but u want skype me.. then u too excited n show me all ur house.. u show me ur bro too... n u show keyboard n say want play music for me using keyboard or guitar.. then i laugh.. i said.. "using broom or guitar.." then he laugh.. his broom on d keyboard.. he so nervous at first.. but 2nd day he change to normal.. he not shy like b4.. he even sing for me using his guitar.. then he talk many things bout him.. he also create sweet words for me..

n sometime he use his blanket n cover his head just like wear hijab.. >__< wew.. but lately we keep talking serious things n i hate that.. serious topics always change me.. hard to see his smile too.. he didnt smile like first i see him.. he didnt laugh like b4.. mybe he start to stress wif me.. hey forgive me.. coz i only remember u now.. u d one who keep pm me n say good things to me... everytime ppl pick up fight wif me n qbayy mad at me... yea.. i shud not interfere bout his relationship.. he can lie to me.. he can say he love me.. but im no one.. why shud sum1 like him fall in love wif me? his life so perfect there.. n i just want to see everyone happy.. im really ok.. dont think too much.. n sorry i have bad fever this 2 days.. n keep sleeping while chat wif u.. i didnt mean it.. but this is me.. i have weak body... wif too much illness.. u shud not love me.. or u will regret.. but u shud not avoid me too... i still wanna b ur friend.. n i really miss u n really love u.. sorry