just my feeling..

hey.. know what.. when it comes to something that we should make decissions.. and its a big thing.. we need sum1 to hear us.. but im not lucky as others.. coz i didnt have many friend as im anti-social.. that doesnt mean that i dont have any friend.. just in internet.. others know me as a good girl, with high reputation.. and also rumors that im a genius (please dont believe this.. they just make story bout me) of coz i wish for that.. but that wasnt my real face..

i dont know.. many things happen.. and i got too much pressure.. i dont know when it will be end.. and i dont know who i can believe to story all bout what happen.. and i dont have any place to go now.. and its him the only one who came to me asking am i okay..and hes the only one who said he want to protect me and give me a shelter.. there no others.. such a sad thing happen... till i thought.. when i die.. is there still sum1 who will pay a visit at my grave? will they keep praying for me? i dont know.. just let it be since it such an annoying statement.. feel that i dont have dignity if keep saying that..

aww yea.. yesterday i meet nana.. my mom and granny bought them many shirt and dress.. feel sorry for her as 2 month already didnt meet her.. and she still smile at me eventhought she was too sleepy till cant smile to others.. such a weird things.. she dont have mom at5years old.. but never cry... and im the one who dont have dad since 2years old.. why cant i live happily? why i cant smile? and everyone keep asking me to smile without knowing bout me..

im wish there no one like me.. as they might be sick for just think bout sumthing.. that easily faint.. and i wish im more stronger than now.. and now.. im going to think back my decission as i cant run to my friend and asking their opinion.. i should carry this on by myself from now.. no more depending others to help.. as he always said.. dont keep asking ur friend.. as he always want to know every single thing.. and always care for me.. actually im just too scared to make decission.. is it okay? then what will happen next? just wait and see..

oh yea.. i forget.. my mom call me comot.. coz i help her to pluck that mangosteen using galah.. i dont know what others call galah.. its heavy and such a long bamboo..then my mom said.. she just too short than me.. so she used to climb up the tree.. XD cant imagine...