let me free..

i hate this! why im still crying? what should i do? i have to be brave..let my heart free.. and i should never end up like this.. abg yus said, he think i should go out there.. n futher study.. but i dont know why.. i said, i hate everyone.. they keep hurting me.. when i smile.. they thought im happy.. and always hurt me.. and when i cry.. they laugh coz they're win.. and im the loser..

now they scared wif me.. coz my fear cant be controled anymore.. and i just think bout what i feel.. coz im too afraid being hurt.. if once more time.. i'll be die soon.. my heart cant take it anymore.. its feel so hurt deep inside my heart.. sumtimes i feel.. death will always be better.. im too scared... what happen if i die? im not sure bout the other world.. so ill try to stay at this world.. coz i still afraid to live outside my world.. the world that i create for myself..hmm.. its ok if everyone kinda scared and want to remove me..

thanx to DN.. coz still be wif me.. altought i always scold them.. hey know what.. sumtimes.. i should go out take fresh air.. and should take my medication back.. but still afraid that i might lose all my memories.. i love my mom n grandma so much..im willing to give them any part of my body when they need it..coz they have raised me.. even so im such troubling for them.. sum1 ask me.. do i have to write everything in my diary.. yea.. i wrote it everyday and night.. but lately.. i didnt write anything.. coz i lost my precious... sum1 that i really love... im wishing for him.. stars.. please let me be wif him till the death come to me.. i need one more chances.. i didnt have enough chances..