sad sonata from me...

today i hangout wif my friends.. they keep talking bout their ex... its reminds me bout my past.. i hate this guy who taught me how to b a liar like him! he lied 2 me... he said he will love me until i said no to him.... i really love this guy.. how could he lied to me.. he make me back to my life b4... or worse than b4...

then one of my acquantaince, he said that im a big loser when i lied that i didnt learn other culture.. well.. only few ppl who really know me know who i really am... i learn how 2 lied not bcoz im a loser or lack of charisma... but i hate their feeling towards me..

i hate man coz i never get love from my dad.. he leave me when im 2 years old... how come he leave us... and he used 2 slap me when im still babies... i still rmember what happen.. if other kid live happily and cant remember their babies memories... then im the lucky one who can remember everything that happen that time...

but i think i must b proud wif my story... coz that make me can think bout others more than me myself... coz i know how i will get hurt if i try to change it from happen... but im still in mood trauma n phobia... plus im worried that my schizo will b back anytime... plus now i cant hold it any longer... wish that i can end up my life easily..