stupid feeling

such a long time didnt update my blog.. all coz busy playing MMORPG.. geez.. im back to online game... what game? Crystal legacy.. yea.. at first i join only few ppl from my country.. n most conquered by indo player.. they keep donate money.. till b strong..

then said wanna stop but keep playing.. n i start to forget my real life.. n i know.. i fall in love again.. why i always like this.. easy fall in love.. his char still a girl.. but he never understand me... i dont need anything.. i just want he see me d only one.. is it hard? i know.. it just a game.. before got player ask me date i used to say, this just a game.. dont b serious..but now im d one who feel like dummy..

i feel alone now... no friends.. no more lovers.. yan propose me before.. but i reject him.. am i stupid? i always want but why i reject him? its weird.. im not d one i used to b.. i already forget what d meaning of life.. just wanna die.. im too weak to move alone.. hey remember when a moon cry.. stars will come n wipe moon tears? but i didnt see that star.. maybe im lost at d end of world.. which no stars.. which no living things...

my heart.. its hurt back.. just like when joey say he love me.. why its always like this.. is it really hurt when someone take ur heart away? i dont know.. why keep saying love.. i cant reply all of u.. i cant chose... yea.. lately peys nice to me.. i remember first we met his pet kill me.. then i said want quit.. i thought hes a girl.. he actually a nice guy.. since that day.. he keep saying "shiro cinta hati peys" ya.. i like that words.. sweet.. but i cant say no to qbayy.. even just in game.. i know i like him..yesterday he ask me.. whether i love him o not.. like usual i said.. no this just a game.. but i like all.. then he start sulking.. yea i lie.. i like him more.. but i hate this feelings...

tonite? yea me fight wif qbayy again.. this time coz i got stupid bro! i hate all of them.. they leave me.. nevermind.. i know im strong.. i can do alone.. im not crying,,im just too tired..but i really mean it.. i love u my dear.. but youre not mine.. n im not urs..n we got diff country too.... my friend wont allow me dear.. i really love u..


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