2days holidays,...

hmm..really hate when others didnt get what we try to tell them...lucky sam ask why i said sorry...so just let boss and sam know what happen to me.. ihang out wif yan at first day.. (2 days b4).. and yesterday we hangout again..(hey!! keyboard so sengal) and wif his friend and his sis... yan ask me to wear a skirt or short pants... he said i might regret if i dcint wear it... then i understand... his sis wear short leggings... =___=" she doesnt seem like malay..so nothing 2 b worried... then yan act like he was arguing wif his friend as i and miss J didnt want to drive their car...

we start to scare...and i send msg to yan that im scare... he said, bising! how dare him.. then im start sulking... and then we go to KTV.,.. lucky!! KTV off soon we arrived.. hehe... so i didnt have to sing infront of him.. then i didnt talk to him till our hindustan movies... errr..i sit beside his friend and ignore him.. then he run away to the road... and soon dissapear... when im ran after him.. he run to me... he said sorry and really worried when im start to cross road,.hmm... we back to normal.. oh yea...my head... kepala dah bengkak coz terhantuk bumbung kereta... as xperasan bonggol... ye la..mana taknya..his friend drive around 160-180km/h... so crazy la that guy...

hmm.. actually feel jealous wif missJ... wlaupwn dia dah cakap, he got nothing wif her... so worried..TT~TT sorry miss J...

time that pass by..

why its take too long for me to walk again like before? i know this is my last week to walk around.. after this cant walk too much... but i wish im not one of d DN.. why? for what im being DN in my own.. ill take cae d cat all by myself... and i still got other thing to do.. wif my bro that keep scolding me for his fault.. but im still lend him money.. i dont know what all of them want... so please stop contact me if u try to hurt me more.. i dont care if u dont want me anymore... thats why i dont want all of them know where im moved... but my stupid bro told them.. everything ruin and hurt me!!!!!

hmmm..  im not sure what happen next... what happen if im blind? its not funny.. before this im almost blind.. and this viral fever make me dizzy,,, and i cant walk!! my leg.. what happen? its too hurt.. sorry boss.. cant told u now.. not d right time.. ^__^ once it happen, then only i told u... boss!! sorry for making u sad yesterday... but why its hard to say sorry? ok3.. now im say sorry...

really hate this kind of feeling.

i hate this feeling... i try to free my scheduled for my friend that i always said BFF but they cant free it for me.. and for how long i type this.. everything deleted by it owns!! im gonna smash this lappy if this is mine.. lucky i borrow it from my bro.. they never think bout me..why did el told me they back.. it smash my heart.. its ok.. i wont ask them to meet me anymore.. i wish kak ain still work wif us.. but what can i do.. its all my fault.. i should think and find idea how can she stay here. but i didnt do anything to protect her... hope aziz n boss wont leave me like she does.. TT~TT i didnt have any friend except kak ain, aboy boss n aziz.. mida MIA too..

in my condtion i didnt think it might recover soon.. mayb take a  month.. or mayb a year like b.. hope they didnt send me to that hospital.. tired of being sick.. and boss promise once i recover he will treat an ice cream.. but aybe i cnt walk at that time.,. they try to ecover my leg. but nothin happen.. i can recover it myself.. but for how long? only for 2hours.. then it back.. huh.. am i gonna lost my memories? if that so.. my last wish. i hope i can still smile that time.. and dont u ever told me bout my sad past,,,

hmm.. really tired.. boss!! can we had an ice cream?? i know im stll in fever mood.. but i really wanna eat ice cream.. then we go for pasta please??? TT~TT tired of waiting for pasta.. i really wanna eat pasta.. if i didnt get it now.. i wish im not here anymore... its really make me tooooooooo tired.. can i sleep? i cant breathe.. maybe too pressure.. but boss wont allow me to.. he said, if u wanna faint.. then faint in front of me.. =__= then how can i faint? i dont wanna faint anymore especially infront of both of them.. sorry.. type later.. tired.. dont want to loose my file again

tired but fun day..

hehe.. wanna know? well.. xmo ckp bi.. penat la speaking too much... yea.. coz just now ade customer maid yang cant speak bm at all.. and keep asking in bi... then she ask me.. how is meehoon looks like? haha.. aiya.. i guess shes from vietnam.. or maybe kemboja.. but she got good english..

hari ni kena masuk kerja 2pm.. but chi sampai awal.. 1.30.. hehe.. tolong aziz n kak suzy..well.. macam2 aktiviti ada.. seronok gak la.. then kak suzy cakap, amik je aziz jadi abg angkat.. erk.. hehe.. boleh je.. but fikir dulu...

then boss!!! aziz.. if u hit him 2times for me.. i take ur words.. u can b my bro.. hehe.. why? coz he wink at me.. hey!! i take it serious as all know actually im too shy and cant speak wif any boy.. but yan change me a lot..from can speak to more cheerful.. but im still wish i didnt meet any schoolmate. coz maybe my illness will back..

hehe.. da la.. jaja dah lapar tu.. she wait for me now.. adios amigas.. XD oyasuminasai~~ jaa~~

a day wif el chan~~

hmm.. actually i've been attacked by fever... hmmm.. so im on leave today.. and i should visit my grandma.. since  elchan here, so i didnt back to my grandma home first.. hmm we didnt go anywhere.. just around there.. el chan looks different.. (tudung dia makin labuh) =___=" i keep calling her ustazah.. and i use wrong words to call mysef... hiya.. since hen im using my own name!!!

hmmm.. but really dizzy.. cant think anythng.. really have headache now.. better get goin now.. papai~~

a tale of my day

actually i dont have any idea what tilte should i give for my new entry.. XD yesterday was my bad day.. why? coz jaja my bro gf sleep at my house, so i need to watch them.. my bro just like a small kid.. he still need my attention.. hmmm.. then need to go for work.. then i need to key in invoice, write it back.. and do cleaness.. also all psa all by myself.. actually we should do it by 2 person.. since my silly boss late for 3HOURS.. i do it all bymysef.. and cant have any ice cream..

actually i dont wanna speak wif him till next year.. but cant do that.. since hes so silllllyy.. i found it interesting.. XD but my stupid bro said, do u fall in love wif that guy? of coz no! i found everyone got their interesting side.. like aziz.. his laugh make my stomach pain.. XD why? well ask him to laugh then only u know... XD

hey!! forgot to tell this news.. i buy new hp.. XD xperia.. chiyachan~~ kulochan~~ cant wait to see both of u.. eh... did chiyachan see my phone b4 this? the one i use b4...? aiya.. i think she missed out my blue phone..

hmmm... a tale that i wish.. i wish my life just like disney princess.. why? coz they got cute face, they just too beautiful, gorgeous... and the way i wish for... everyone love them and they wear whatever they want... TT^TT im just too afraid wif what people might think bout me... maybe i should find my prince soon.. so then im d only princess in his heart. not like yan and others guy... got too many admire.. hate it..

boss sengal..

today im not gonna write about myself.. XD but bout my boss.. silly guy, he stalk my blog... how dare he do that... hmm.. b4 this he scared me wif insect.. and of coz like usual.. sulking is my hobby... he said hard to convince me... haha... now who is d boss.. errrr... (tak boleh tulis lebih2.. nanti dia marah)

then he switched off d light when im still in toilet.. haiya.. im still afraid of the dark.. hmmm.. sumtimes i feel like chu is alive.. why? coz boss just like chu.. but chu version naughty guy. XD yaa.. chu more gentle.. although he always make me sick wif his i love u word.. =__= boss different way.. he wink and that make me remember chu.. XD wanna laugh but at d same time feel scared.. dont know why..

but they got equality.. both care bout others.. im telling d truth.. hmmm.. this mornink he send me msg wake up.. time to work.. then i told aziz.. he said.. why didnt he get any msg.. XD aziz touching.. haha..

help me!!!

errr.. hehe.. unique isnt it? what? i mean the title unique.. not the one who read this text.. xP hehe.. well.. today.. work wif boss n aziz.. many things happen.. 1st, b4 going down, i saw baad mom.. she said, "hai makwe, pergi kerja ke.." haiya.. this is d 2nd time she call me makwe.. then after our manager back me n aziz searching 4 sumthng.. hmmm... what? when u hungry u will search this.. XD hehe..

but they promise me, they will take me for pasta.. XD cant wait.. really miss d taste of pasta... errr.. but not everything going smooth n manageable like sunsilk yoko yamashita.. one of our workers said got sumtng on my head... then know what.. its a bug.. at first i just throw it and shout silently... but boss.. he take it and gave it to me.. so i scream aloud and cried at d moment... huhu.. chiya!!! help me.. i feel kinda scared as it remind me bout that thing.. i killed it 10 times.. but its still alive n hunting me.. and this thing will hunt me.. i know.. TT^TT

 also got funny story.. not so funny but feel like.. aww gosh.. he made it.. XD abg burger.. im not ordering yet.. that time i go wif ain.. then sddenly he said, burger benjo cheese xnak sayur + tomato.. gosh.. he really gonna get from me.. just choose right or left.. =P but still got wrong.. if b salad.. now he gave me chilli sauce not d tomatoes.. ok la.. time 4 gamee...eee...eee... (eeeee  fever)


ERRR... why sound like that? huhu.. actually boss and aziz read my entry.. how did i know? yesterday.... aziz send me a msg.. he ask.. "xde cerita aku ke?" haha... welll no comment.. hehe... actually i wrote it.. just not much as bosss... all they're fault.. when i ak for a pasta.. one of them said.. im on date now.. how dare he go for a date while im suffering with my habit... i waaaaannntt it soooo much (=oo=)

hmmm... now im not at home... why? coz my manager said, "ika, ur not allowed to go back till boss ask u to.. why? coz actually im the one who should ot.. then we ask boss... so he said, he will if i stay if him.. now im trapped at there... why im the one who trapped in my own request? chiya!!! chibi!!! help meee..... huk3... wanna go back... miss all of u alot.. they try to bullying me..

what else? hmmm.... haaa!! remember now... today our store get free cadbury.. XD errr... dont have much time.. need to go back to my boss.. XD here i come... silap.. back eh? hehe..

hard to understand others...

errr... dont kow what title i should put up there.. XD well.. start our story.. first yan keep controlling me and always accuse me... he said i got many bf now.. and he doesnt believe me like he used 2.. sumtimes feel soooo annoying.

then one of my acquaintance.. 2 days in row he came at my workplace and ask whether i want to hangout wif him or not.. hmm.. ombak rindu.. and i dont know what he said to my little friend till he really want to go and ask me to follow them... =__=" worried now.. since i dont wanna out wif him... maybe my litte friend will get mad at me.. hope noothing bad happen.. ain and boss said i shouldnt go out wif him.. but pity for him.. he gave all his effort just to ask me for a movie.. but now.. TT~TT

hmmm.. then ho else? yea.. boss.. hehe.. hes not my boss actually.. just i like to call him boss.. he just like my bro.. but maybe a kind hearted brother.. XD yea... hard to find sum1 that will try to pursue u when ur about to cry and keep scolding everyone near u.. hmm... but feel bad.. everyone keep talking bout us.. they tought that were a couple since he fetch me at my house and send me back home... but thats becoz we live near... he said, just ignore all that... he doesnt care.. everyone will keep saying bout that and when they tired, they will stop.. one thing that i like bout him.. he keep sending me msg nite, sleep tight.. >////<

eh?? bout me? hmm.. im more prettier.. XD just kidding... actually our customer said i looks diffeent and looks more cute and beautiful than before... but maybe they just kiddy around.. but i like this custome.. he keep calling me japanese people.. XD errr.. dont want to write anymore.. **blushing**

canvas of love...

hey... im back for another story.. hmm... actually i fought wif my bf.. he said im cheating and all i do just play with other guy.. hey, thats soooo not true... how dare him said that.. and when i ask him to think bout what he said and he always hurt me.. then he said sorry.. so simple.. sorry to say this, but i really hate when he treat me like this... im not a robot that doesnt have any feeling and cant hurt by words.. even robot in artificial art can b hurt by words,, why not me??

hmmm.. then bout H.. remember bout him? hehe.. he call me my sweet heart.. isnt that sweet? well.. but i dont have any feeling towards him after the incident... XD but feel like, awww.. he soo cute...can i lock him in my room?? just kiddy..

erk... others than that are still not for public story... XD hmmm.... what else?hehe... now im at cc with my friend aka boss.. i told yani bout boss.. first she said shes jealous.. then when i said hes like my big bro.. so she just said.. nthg 2 b jealous.. one more.. my biological bro.. he such a problematic guy.. he keep open every link...and pooff.. got virus aka post that send link... errr.. cant said what.. >///< **blushing**

dont know what else.. so we stop here again.. well... ill try to write as much as i can and what i remember.. XD to yani.. chaiyok... ganbatte kudasai... get ur senior heart.. to kuro.. please... pick up ur phone please.. sammy.. miss u a lot.. get bf fast.. el chan.. misu anata... dont forget to invite me when ur getting engage wif that guy...

10 December...

such a long time didnt have any entry right? well.. dont worry bout me.. everything going smooth n friendly.. XD not really actually.. just my page.. sum1 try to hack it.. but everything ok now.. hmmm.. bout my work.. still ok for now.. just sumtimes feel bad.. coz always pretending to b sum1 that more matured... but sumtimes too kiddy... really hate my attitudes...

hmm.. i cut my hair... XD well... not too long n not too short.. but ain say, im not cute with this hairstyle.. but few guys said its looks better for me than the old style.. but dont know is that what they really think?? hmm.. then bout yan.. he seems doesnt care bout me... sumtimes i feel like im going to get new bf.. but sumtimes feel sorry for him...

errr... cant write much... there sum1 beside me.. my friend at my work place.. =___= ok la... write another time.. papai.. ^___^

miserable feeling...

well... b4 raya qurban.. yan came at my workplace... he gave me necklace... TT~TT but that night, he punch sum1.. my friend.. just bcoz that guy cubit my cheek.. XD well.. i just said i didnt like his way.. actually both of them guilty. but only yan the one b blamed..they all said, yan liar, and hes not a good person and m stupid.. but 1 thing im sure.. he really care bout me,.. thats y he do that.. he didnt want anything happen... not like my work friend.. they keep lying me.. they said many things that they create.. but they dont know.. everyone keep saying shes wild girl and not good enough 2 b my friend...

well stop bout that... hate saying bout them.. ill try to find new job now.. really hate them as they hate me.. always create problem.. they call me bangang without knowing who the one they mean.. she cant speak bi at all.. she only know yes and no.. XD but call me like that.. how stupid bladyfool they are,... XD sorry to say this.. but i really hate them.. wish all of them extinct... one day they will know they are the stupid one who always told a lies not yan... she keep saying bad bout yan and ask me to leave him.. but now he faught with his bf.. wish she learn from it..

really miss DN... ill gonna make money as much as i can and buy new car.. then only i can see them.. hehe.. wait for me dn... love u all.. no one will b my bff except all of u.. sorry 4 not contacting all of u.. too busy...

new post after few month..

huh.. finally... first time online + blogging at my nnew place... errr... actually im ruin my future.. why? hmm.. tengah memonteng meyh.. just half an hour... ask my new friend to cover my place... as long as im safe.. what should i answer when my manager ask? should i said "pergi makan kak?" TT~TT

then 31st october... birthday abang king kong.. hmm.. then we didnt meet each other as he need to go back to his hometown.. and yan, hes busy wif his work... oh new story.. i faint at my place work... then others, hmm.. kebetulan my new house dkat sblah rumah BD.. BD = before this i already wrote bout him.. try to find it urself...

hmm...then what? well.. write it later.. ^__^

new life..

well.. such a long time right? hehe.. well now chi dah kerja.. so doesnt have time to spare at this blog.. not just that.. pc lappy n modem pwn semua broke down.. but still function.. and macam2 dah jadi since i work.. pernah kena maki, kena marah, macam2 la.. dulu semua orang respect chi.. but since i start working at 7E so they think they are just too good.. well.. rasa macam nak suruh ayah chi beli je tempat tu.. biar diorang diam..

then with my boyfriend.. we still arguing bout sumjthng that doesnt matter and no need to think bout.. yea i know.. its all bcoz im still like a small kid.. so he worried bout me.. then i got new friends since i stay at my new place.. well.. just a few but mean a lot to me.. coz they cheer my life.. hmm... nak kena type nama ke? tak pe la.. lain kali ek?

but sorang tu.. if he came at night.. (he only appears at night) i always laught.. dont know why.. but he looks sweet.. but sorry.. i just fall in love wif yan.. hehe.. well hope he doesnt see this.. so hard to say this at him..  XD erk.. lain kali la type.. xbest nak cerita since typing at cc...

tajuk please...

err.. ketandusan idea.. well hari ni mood practise BM.. so semalam chi sepatutnya berbuka dengan Ai.. but since pukul 4, chi putuskan pergi ikut mak chi dulu.. kitorang ke kuala selangor.. errr.. not really, sabak bernam kot.. eh ape ek tempat jual cookies banyak tu? haa.. tapi then Ai kata cancel la.. sebab dia tak nak chi rush.. then when we reach there singgah kedai kasut dulu. chi berkenan satu kasut ni, but since hari tu da beli kasut rm50 so batalkan niat.. TT~TT tunggu jadi orang kaya la.. plus kasut lawa2 takde tumit rugi.. sampai kawasan basah habis la kasut tu.. XD

but penjual tu terkejut nampak chi, she ask me, awak bukan cina ke? XD haiya... bukan meyh.. chi mix.. XD well then kitorang pergi cari biskut2... memang murah la, satu bekas tu rm10 je. tart nenas, rosalinda, then almond.. sume la rm10... tapi ade yang klaka... time panggil maklong chi, chi jerit la Along.. then tetibe pakcik yg kire duit tu jerit, sape along? ni die panggil.. XD adoi... rupe2nya orang yang menjual dok terjerit2 tu namanya along gak.. malu la..

then lepas tu beli merapu2 dekat situ, but xsempat pun nak jelajah... sbb da kene panggil balik masak... da la siap sesat lagi... TT~TT nasib baik mak chi hebat memandu, selamba je pancung.. agak bahaya... but xpe la... sekurang-kurangnya ade gak baju untuk raya.. hehe... da la.. sampai sini je.. susa menaip dekat cc..


i hate the way he treat me... just like an enemy u know.. who? who else, its always him.. yan... the other day he pick up with mr alligator... then i ask him bout that.. know what.. suddenly he change and said just go with mr alligator... he know that he's not handsome... hey.. what u mean by handsome? did i ever say i care how u look? i already told him that i dont mind who are they as long they love me and didnt treat me like enemy... but he just keep hurting me... and when i said remove me from his life... he said im d one who wish that so im d one who should remove... and he ask me to keep quiet.. so i just said that everything over as he said i dont undestand... what i reply then? ya i never understand coz im just too stupid to listen everyone heart...

then he post to his wall.. he said he got gf that always back up other guys... other guys? didnt he know im back up everyone.. as long as that person not the guilty one.. why it takes 100 excuses for him to understand me? then he said.. "aku xnak gado ngan pompuan.." so what if im a girl? theres no rule that say im a girl so i would lose.. sorry okay.. us girl got our own good.. and we dont simply said guy like that.. but we can make u down for saying that... and when i said, love can b hate but hate cant b love... then only he said sorry... but then he delete his post... hey.. is that count as an apologize? no i dont wanna count it...

then today..he pick up with kak iza.. why every guy need to pick up with her? especially yan.. didnt he said that he wont pick up with girl? hes not sure what he think.. i dont know how long ill b with him as i hate that kind of man... he should learn to respect others... and stop accusing me that i got other guy... as he the only one who call every single girl as sayang... and i never call other guy with sweet calling.. and i love calling guys sengal.. ^__^ and only hh i can said i miss him so much.. not other guy.. and abang? i call who ever i respect with abang... so i wont call others abang without knowing them better...

hey know what.. when i search my name at google.. i found my school data and everything bout me.. XD and of coz i found a picture of a lost memories.. what pic? the one i used as this article photo.. ^__^ really miss him and all DN... CHU!! u promise to take care me.. now i got nobody to hold my hand and take me for a walk... u r my dog and im ur cat... TT~TT did u forget? of coz la.. and now i know.. yani was right... i always like this.. never appreciate when they with me.. when they go far away.. ill always miss them.. but i cant show it.. TT~TT

kelahiran chi adalah satu kesilapan.. kenapa? sebab abg chi akan lebih bahagia kalau chi tak wujud.. yea.. hes not like me.. hes normal.. he got many friend... everyone love him.. he got good job.. not like me... im jobless... didnt have many friends... and im not normal like others.. i cant feel relaxed when with a guy.. i hate being like this... and he keep saying that no one in this house believe in him.. and everyone cares bout me.. and all i do is nothing.. he want to quit from his job and just sleep and eat like me.. then spend all mom money.. didnt he know.. i never wish for this.. and im always be blamed for whatever he does...

when he mad and hurt himself... i always be blamed as the reason of sumthing that im not sure.. everyone just see  their bad side life.. but never see others.. im always pretending that im happy... but... susahnye hidup.. kadang2 chi terfikir juga.. if one day, if it destined that i'll die.. then what happen to my mom? who will take care of her? how bout my grandma..? hope that everyone will took care of them when im not here anymore...

well... im not sure what will happen next... but i think im sure... everytime i try to end my life... it makes me remind bout abg faris.. he used to told me this story.. sebelum kita dilahirkan, allah bertanya, adakah kita kuat or berani untuk turun ke dunia.. kalau kita berani maka lahirlah kita... yang mana tak sanggup hadapi hidup didunia itulah yang gugur.. ^__^ sebab chi dah lahir ke dunia, chi tak patut menyesal biarpun hidup ni adalah satu kesilapan..

ramai yang cakap entry2 chi sedih je... well... cant b helped since chi punya takdir hidup macam ni.. cuma perlu hadapi je kan?

story of me.. XD

ehem2.. sorry didnt have idea.. well.. know what... when i woke up this not early morning anymore... i just do my daily... check my phone and switch on my tv.. as i need to watch my fav game show... but then when i check my face.. i saw blood.. oh my gosh.. TT~TT thats blood come from my mouth.. and it looks fresh + and clot blood.. and what else.. its getting black.. when i touch it becomes red... (actually im too panic... XD) so i just get out from my room and tell my grandma.. shes not too shock... she just ask me to put ice... TT~TT what else? of coz i brush my teeth first.. i'm not raja bersiong descendants.. XD

then my bro keep insulting me.. i dont know why he hate me so much.. today.. im just help my grandma.. as he didnt want to get up.. and its almost time for break our fast... he didnt even get reactions at first.. so i told my grandma... if hes going with this attitude.. one day he will loss his job.. then suddenly he woke up and keep insulting me.. he even said that im no use... and going to kill himself... and keep grumbling.. while im like usual can only listen and cant said anything.. as everyone will put the blame on me..

everyday i keep crying till i cant focus on anything.. when mr alligator ask me about study.. i just can cry, hate myself... im not showing to my friend as they wont understand till they at my position..and everytime they say that i just think it easy they got wrong. i cant study like them... i know this sound weird.. but im paranoid with every single thing...  i cant focus at all.. and i cant breathe like before.. my condition getting worse... and they never knew.. and my mom only said... "u should watch ur meal as since baby all u do is sick" its not what i want... and my bro keep saying.. "adik tu manja.. bukan sakit betul"i wish he was here when im almost dead at my last year school... early last year (im 17th) im almost die when i cant even move my hand.. i cant breathe.. and since that everything change... he just dont know what im going throught.. coz i never mention as i cant stop crying when i remember that moment..

i wish no one will reveal my life.. but that only make me pain inside.. i know when i write this.. sum1 might hear my heart... so it make my burden less.. thank you for reading.. ^___^ life still need my smile.. how i know? coz without me.. 0.00001 of the world wont b complete...


i know this title might make u wonder.. what kind of hurt that i mean.. not that injured person or what.. just.. my heart... the crack seems like more than before.. and i wonder... what happen once it broken? can i get new one? and if i can where i can get it?

i just can't stop crying now as im at the end of decission.. my grandma keep talking bad bout my mom... ya i know she just stupid to make decission.. and i try to talk it with her already.. so why cant my grandma stop hurting me with those words... why every guy keep hunting my mom but they never appreciate her..? i know it seems like my illness come back... but i dont know why...

just now i just call ai as she ever said that i can call her if i got problem.. and i just cant stop crying..telling her every single of my story... im not begging for symphatize.. but i just hope sum1 hear me... i just hope that i got sum1 to rely on... as my cat died a month ago and i dont know to tell all those story to whom.. maybe kinda weird for u to hear bout me speaking wif those animal.. but i just feel comfort with them.. not like human..they make me nervous... as im gonna faint if they say hi to me...

then i tell ai bout yan.. i think thats the end of our story.. as im seeking for true love.. love that eternal.. as im dead its still alive... not like yan.. he doesnt care bout me... and that makes me remember ai use to told me, there got 2 people.. the pretty one that everyone admire cant find her love as she dont know who really sincere towards her... as the other one with ordinary figure will get true love easily as the one who will be with her are the sincere one and accept you for who u are..

and i hope that im in ordinary one.. but now i dont deserve both as i keep coupling and hope that i can find it soon.. but now im realise.. everytime i fall in love with sum1 that i thought my best friend... and i just hope one day i will get sum1 that just ordinary.. as my mom said.. dont get handsome boyfriend as everyone will adore him.. but i think it would never happen as why should a handsome guy hang out with me?

hey.. i type too much? sorry... oh ya.. if yani read this.. aida really hope u can do shopping with us.. and fasting together... huhu..

just my feeling..

hey.. know what.. when it comes to something that we should make decissions.. and its a big thing.. we need sum1 to hear us.. but im not lucky as others.. coz i didnt have many friend as im anti-social.. that doesnt mean that i dont have any friend.. just in internet.. others know me as a good girl, with high reputation.. and also rumors that im a genius (please dont believe this.. they just make story bout me) of coz i wish for that.. but that wasnt my real face..

i dont know.. many things happen.. and i got too much pressure.. i dont know when it will be end.. and i dont know who i can believe to story all bout what happen.. and i dont have any place to go now.. and its him the only one who came to me asking am i okay..and hes the only one who said he want to protect me and give me a shelter.. there no others.. such a sad thing happen... till i thought.. when i die.. is there still sum1 who will pay a visit at my grave? will they keep praying for me? i dont know.. just let it be since it such an annoying statement.. feel that i dont have dignity if keep saying that..

aww yea.. yesterday i meet nana.. my mom and granny bought them many shirt and dress.. feel sorry for her as 2 month already didnt meet her.. and she still smile at me eventhought she was too sleepy till cant smile to others.. such a weird things.. she dont have mom at5years old.. but never cry... and im the one who dont have dad since 2years old.. why cant i live happily? why i cant smile? and everyone keep asking me to smile without knowing bout me..

im wish there no one like me.. as they might be sick for just think bout sumthing.. that easily faint.. and i wish im more stronger than now.. and now.. im going to think back my decission as i cant run to my friend and asking their opinion.. i should carry this on by myself from now.. no more depending others to help.. as he always said.. dont keep asking ur friend.. as he always want to know every single thing.. and always care for me.. actually im just too scared to make decission.. is it okay? then what will happen next? just wait and see..

oh yea.. i forget.. my mom call me comot.. coz i help her to pluck that mangosteen using galah.. i dont know what others call galah.. its heavy and such a long bamboo..then my mom said.. she just too short than me.. so she used to climb up the tree.. XD cant imagine...

love you all...

actually yesterday me and kuro plan for a movie.. but since harry potter ticket was sold out.. and only got after 1.30p.m. and above.. and ai wish to see it.. but cant do anything as we should see yani at 2.00pm..then we just hangout at McD jusco bukit tinggi.. and our topic about past... about our primary school.. bout our activity... of coz sam were in too.. ^___^

then we plan to pick up sam for karaoke while waiting for 2pm.. funny when i start thinking bout thin incident.. sam told us that she wait at pagar sumthing... then after 1 minute we reach there but no one coming.. then only we realise.. she use her mom phone to call us.. how come she wait us there? haha.. then coz they wish for vip room.. so we still have to wait.. such a long time.. then i already say to them.. should tell yani we can only finish it at 4pm... then only we meet.. but they keep saying.. 3pm no matter what.. now im the guilty one.. coz ai keep replying my message without writting her name.. aiya.. when i read back my message.. im going to explode.. she said ai have to go back b4 5pm.. didnt she know that im not the one who replying her message.. but ai was.. TT~TT

and i lost my mood and everything spoil.. but then our normal mood back as we just plan for sumthng special this year.. i said i wish we had one day fasting together.. then ai wish that we can shopping hari raya together... and sam.. i forgot.. TT~TT . then ai back at 6pm... and my mom pick me and sam after that.. then we hangout wif my mom.. XD

then today.. abg king kong treat us ( me n my bro) for harry potter ticket... hehe.. but we're late... then he treat us for dinner.. actually after movie i wait for him as my bro going to toilet and ask to follow him.. then he ask.. dah makan? then i just nod my head.. he said.. abang baru nak belanja.. haiya.. wrong timing.. but then still go for dinner.. my bro order for me as i didnt order anything.. such a waste, he order for char kuay teow special.... so i still eat although im full and hate the "tauge".. i dont know what others call it.. XD

i cant upload any photo as my pc cant read the usb.. TT~TT . i wish can show all that i have the one that i love... my friend and my bro.. of coz my mom and my granny and grandpa.. and all my brothers as always keep calling me and ask "chi did u take ur medicine for today? u got pressure? and many others.. im afraid too with me myself.. as that sunday i cant breathe like usual.. but then i still can manage my own feeling.. thats why i hate to speak a lot as i might hurt inside... u know what i mean.. dont like to story bout it.. XD

Tragedy,.. lucky or bad charm?

errr.. title? actually i dont have any idea bout it.. so skip from that topic... many things happen.. but dont need to story all as no one will read if too complicated...

yesterday, my bro accident.. but dont worry.. he just cant raise up his hand.. but still can reply ur sms.. for girl out there.. as u know he always get into accident.. but he too mortal to be injured.. XD then his friend come.. and his friend ask.. is it u chi? haha.. why he ask stupid thing? im the only girl in this family and his friend already knew it.. but he still asking that question.. well maybe coz im white as a snow.. (terperasan sudah..) and my bro just like mocha.. XD

well i told u.. my mom banjar.. and my dad thai mix chinese.. thats why im unique.. three ethnics that famous with their voice and face.. XD yea i admit it... (perasan lagi) then i meet my ex step dad... he gave me nokia X2 colour blue and black.. and for my mom nokia E5 white in colour... and my bro got sony ericsson xperia.. crazy meyh.. and im going to sell my old phone.. but i still love my old phone.. still new what.. and still popular now.. TT~TT but my new phone look more fabulous..

well.. actually i guess i will sell my old phone just rm200.. or maybe less.. but depends on that person.. if sam.. i dont mind to give her around rm150.. XD yea i know.. i bought it 600-700.. but i dont mind bout that coz my new phone is for free.. XD

missing someone...

missing in action.. MIA.. XD just kidding around.. actually remember my last entry? i write it at nearest cc right? that time hh on9.. and i said miss him so much.. then he like usual.. "oh terharunya aku" mangkok btol la.. TT~TT but then feel relieved.. coz he back to normal.. i didnt mean alien or what... just b4 this he seem not interested in all topic..

then suddenly i heard sum noise... its him.. clement.. haiyo.. then i said.. didnt u hv school tomorrow? then he didnt ans me.. but he said... seringgit... he still same.. everytime he see me he gonna ask for money.. hmm.. how his SPM this year? XD cant wait...

then what else... yea.. yan.. he send me many mms.. all his hairstyle.. XD hey i never know that his job sumtimes fun.. then he ask me never hide anythng from him.. TT~TT im just too afraid to tell him everything.. then i said bout my phobia.. XD and he said.. he gonna take me 4 flying fox, rock climbing etc... =__= now really  wish that i never told him bout that... but not now la.. he said after we get married.. how come he very sure that im gonna b his wife? oh my gosh.. fate and destiny not in our hand.. thats why i never think bout that.. coz im still afraid everything gonna change.. juz like when im with takiya.. TT~TT

well.. now i really need to eat sumthing.. feel dizzy.. @__@ pasta... here i come.. wait for me..

dont talk to me if u not good enought.

why i said like that? coz sum1 try to attack me and scams me at fb.. well.. i dont know what should i do coz they juz too stupid to ask why i did all that... im not like them. religious people.. and i know how to talk wif people that have social problem.. not simply accuse them.. feel so sad for them... they said that im just make everyone got more sins plus i never success to help others.. but they never see what others people said... they talk bads bout me not just in my page.. but a web.. and i dont know.. they threat me wif newspaper..

i hate when people keep searching for me.. feel uneasy.. and im not strong enough to back up all of them.. feel so sorry.. plus after that night.. my lappy broken down.. maybe its mean that i should stop helping others and think bout my life... those religious people said bad thing.. and everything they type should b delete.. why? coz they said sumthing that we never thought.. sumthng that only those who wild kids know.. and i just can see and delete.. im not cruel like them to spam others messages.. but i dont know.. i just hate the way they talk.. including calling me dog..

then i call ai.. lucky shes futher not so far.. so she back for tomorrow.. (saturday) and she heard every story that i told her.. lucky she understand me well.. and i juz cant control my feeling that time.. so i just cry at kfc.. feel so embarassed..but i cant hold it any longer.. and sumtimes i think that they not good enought to say thing like that to me.. as i know, they use rude speech while i never use that wif them.. or should i?

plus i think i should futher now.. coz everything seems nothing to me.. i dont know my own way.. i dont know what i would do after this.. but yan said he wanna get married.. wif whom? ^__^ oh ya.. maybe i will delete my acc fb.. coz that what ai and my mom ask to.. really feel sad that i will left my name... yeah.. i used it since form1.. how can i change it?

story again and again

ehem2..a very good morning to... (sorry.. wrong speech) hello, well.. actually what should i write yea? hmm too much pressure at kapel.. got girl with name sumaiyah, but she speaks just like ***** why i said that? coz he use rude words and she said that she wont ask for forgiveness from others.. then i just can said, its up to her, not my problem if she got sins with other for talking bad. and she said many thing bout me.. but my Arissa save me. just everyone keep asking me to remove arissa as admin. sshe banned that girl.

then i admin page curang back.. coz beby said fad gonna to dismiss that page.. i cant let it.. coz it his first page.. plus he the one who used to help me before.. and yan.. he call me.. and ask me to sing a song.. of coz i didnt.. XD

and haziq.. he seems like not the same haziq that i used to story before.. his word more tooo depressive.. really worried bout him.. hey! not bcoz i like him before, just he my bff okay.. he always with me when im sad.. anything happen? i dont know.. wish all d best for him..

then ah seng.. he the one who make me think.. am i still kids? errr.. he said "musang! kau xtitow lg kew? esk xskola kew?" wif gedix spelling die tnye.. TT~TT hey im 18.. and im not old coz u d one who 5 years more olders than me.. oh indahnya bahasa..XD he thought that im same wif clement..

lovely days

heee.. why i said lovely? well yesterday, i tried to call him.. but didnt talk anything. then after saying hello for 3 times... he end the call.. then that night i sms him said "awak kalau marah jangan lama-lama nanti saya rindu. sori ek, mula dari 0-0" then he said, he just tension coz too much work and didnt get enought rest. he said he will send me msg when he finish his works.. but ill wait till no more night.. TT~TT but then 2pm just now i call him.. he just back.. he said, he miss my voice... i said his fault suddenly got mad at me till both of us miss each other voice..

i dont know how long he can hear my voice.. suddenly i remember koe wo kikasete.. in english let me hear your voice, well i dont know why he too fanatical my voice.. XD crazy meyh? when will all this end? how long i have to wait? sometimes im just too worried coz im not sure if he okay or not..

then just now i just write all his messages.. actually not all.. just half.. errr.. continue after this.. but i will finish it.. actually still on page.. hehe.. hey forgot, just now i know one secret from my bro.. big secret which my family keep asking me bout him.. since he keep telling me everything he do. and he believe in me.. but still its wrong.. should i keep it as secret or tell the truth? but i love my bro.. i cant let anything happen to him.. TT~TT im too stupid to make decission..

back to single feelings...

well.. my bad coz using my broken bahasa.. he thought that i didnt like him and think that he such a big liar and womaniser.. well i never said that.. and i never mean that.. i dont know where should i write all bout my feeling.. i thought that hes the one but now.. finally i wake up from my sweet dream..

i dont know how i should write it.. got fever suddenly.. and cant breathe at all.. yea, he never know since i never tell him bout my blog and i cant tell him.. coz too much secret..he make me love him, he stole my heart and he leave me.. he said just let him die but didnt he remember sumthing bout my words? if hes the one who will die tomorrow, then thats not him, but me, coz im willing to replace him as im not like others.. i cant do anything.. and im usefull...

stupid! i just fall in love with u.. cant u see my tears? of coz u cant, ur blind to see my heart..why i cant write in malay language? why i never get A or B for bm test? i cant write many piece words but still i cant use it in my words.. i try to practice my bm every single day.. but then i still cant write it.. ai.. i wish u were here to transslate my feeling towards him..

i got chat messages, but from his friend.. he throw away his lappy, then thats mean he hate me just like he hate his lappy.. why i said that? coz he didnt want to see me anymore.. and everything make him remember bout me.. how did i know? coz i see him using my heart.. not my eyes.. and i feel everything using my sense... well thats okay.. i had fever now.. so better sleep.. i just wish tomorrow never comes since im too afraid to wake up from yesterday dreams..


im in love wif u fool!!

cinta chinta chenta

feel like didnt wanna type anything.. but then i have too.. remember.. they still stalk me and need to know about me they get out from this place.. TT~TT well.. this morning sumthing bad happen.. well almost  argued wif yan. coz sum1 ask me bout my relationship wif yan.. and i know shes not anyone else.. then i call yan ask him whether he know bout her or not.. and he said he dont know anything...

so i decided to check every single evidencce.. then after checking all their message i found 3 evidence that he know her.. well maybe that was just old story.. i still have to believe in yan..why? coz.. i dont know.. just i dont want silly mistake happen in my life.. but dont worry coz yan already scold her.. maybe she wont attack me.. but how if she block my fb acc? TT~TT

then banyak gak la nasihat yang dicurahkan.. coz kitsuo mintak.. so agak jiwang la..then he keep saying, ibu boleh jadi penulis hebat.. errr.. like that words.. but ada ke majalah nak amik kerja? miss shiro aka mesin typewritter.. rindu nama tu.. XD then beby and fad keep ask me too see their edit pic couple.. well.. mulanya berat.. but bila lagi nak bagitahu.. so i just said.. couple tu sebenarnya haram.. lebih elok bersahabat dan bila cukup duit barulah kita jalinkan ikatan.. ye la.. chi bukan baek sangat..

actually chi ngan yan tak dikira pasangan kekasih.. coz dah bincang dari hari pertama.. lagi pun dah frust bercinta yang hanya separuh jalan.. lebih elok merindui sahabat dari merindui kekasih yang bukan milik kita.. eh forget.. semalam ramai nak jadik scandal.. bahaya betul.. of coz shiro tak layan sangat plus cerita topik lain.. but penat la bercinta macam ni, asyik shiro je tunggu call.. maybe patut berhenti menunggu... biarlah masa menentukan semuanya.. bunga bukan sekuntum kumbang bukan seekor... ^__^

demo silat di sunway-ronaldinho

perasan tak? bulan may paling banyak post kan? rasanya malas nak tulis untuk beberapa hari ni.. tapi nanti Myra tanye pulak.. bila nak cerita lagi.. huhu..eh lupa.. tajuk lari.. hehe (saja je nak bagi panjang.. nanti myra cakap, pendeknya, kejap je habis.. form6 pergi belajar la, yane pun sama.. ika tu lagi sorang.. jangan asyik baca buku je, bukak blog chi ye junior.. tension woo kalau asyik study je)

kenapa tajuknya ronaldinho? bukan pemain bola sepak tu la... ni nama betul dia dah lupa.. kan chi dah janji dalam cerita takiya tu.. ada masa nanti chi cerita pasal mamat ni.. puas jugak lacari and baca balik diary lama.. maklum la benda dah jadi tahun lepas.. hehe.. tanpa membuang masa, dipersembahkan filem melayu terhebat tahun lepas. kelakar lagi sensasi.. ye nak mula la ni..nak intro lelame pun tak boleh.. adoyaiii... ni chi copy bulat-bulat plus wat renew ejaan je la ek.. takkan korang paham kot bahasa chi yang unik.. XD

date : 27 june 2010
subject : diary - sleep over and demo

Hari Jumaat (25/6) aku tidur dekat rumah yani sampai hari ahad (27/6). Malam Jumaat tu aku berlatih demi demo sabtu malam ahad dekat dato harun Sunway. Aku dah berusaha, tapi stil gagap time buat tu. Bila aku salah satu step, terus pandangan aku kabur. Aku rasa nak pengsan then aku asyik buat salah. After dah kuar dari gelanggang tu, terus aku menangis dekat tebing. Yani datang and buat aku ketawa. jangan bunuh diri wei.. haha.. then die nyanyi lagu lolipop.. aku cakap la, kau ni ganggu mood nak nangis la..teruss ketawa.. Ai n kak el main keris betul malam tu.. fuyoo..

Then Sam cakap aku kacau budak-budak tu nak tengok bile aku join budak kecik panjat tembok. yani pun duduk atas tu kat sebelah aku. But tetibe je ade orang tegur aku "Dik ade cacing kat baju adik" (lebih kurang la ayat tu, tak ingat sangat) then aku tanye la "mane?" (sambil cari) tetibe je die cakap ape taw? "1-0" sengal punya budak! dah la tu die cakap, apa punya pesilat la, tu pun percaya. nak tahu apa aku balas? "biase la, terlampau baik hati sampai percaya dekat semua orang..." semua gelak kat aku..then dia balas "kus semangat abang" terus aku pandang arah lain. then dia still panggil lagi.. dia nak bagi teka teki.. aku jerit.. "tak nak dengar, tak nak dengaaar" but still die cakap
lima jari jadikan satu

aku suruh yani dengan sam tolong jawab. sam pulak mengada-ngada nak bagi teka teki at yani. sengal punya kawan. 1st aku jawab penumbuk, 2nd aku jawab pelempang.. dedua salah.. jawapannya lima batang mancis disusun memanjang. kebetulan diorang (daneko's) blah, aku pun apa lagi.. lari kejar diorang..

sebenarnya aku stillnak tengok demo.. tapi diorang tak nak teman aku masuk sebab diorang kata mamat tadi usha aku. then aku yani and sampergi tengok at pintu penonton. ramai sangat sampai tak nampak cikgu azam.. almost forget, abang nas  pwn ade. dia jadi cameraman.

Then aku tarik sam pergi hujung baru nampak. Pastu ada pula budak laki asyik menyampuk asal aku cakap. lagi la kecoh diorang cakap chiyo kena usha...bila ayahnda sampai kitorang pergi at kereta. Ayahnda tanya nak balik ke? then aku cakap la, tak baik tinggal majlis separuh jalan. then kitorang pun masuk balik. kitorang makan sikit. aku and sam kene tolong amik air untuk diorang. terkejut aku bile tengok abang ahmad yang tolong tuang. kesian dia, cawan dia kosong lagi. sam amik dulu cawan then pass2 dekat cikgu mail, yani, el n ai. dua cawan last aku sorang tinggal. sam tunggu depan sikit. then abang ahmad cakap kat aku, "RM2" hek eleh kenakan aku pulak. diorang boleh gelakkan aku. pastu ayahnda hilang, and abang nas datang and bertegur sapa dengan diorang. aku dah cukup segan rasa nak lari. but something happen, cikgu azam join la pulak.

Then time nak tolong buang sampah diorang tunjuk la at belakang diorang. el tanye la nie tempat pembuangan haram ke? diorang kata halal. Nanti ada orang tolong kutip. Aku cakap la kat kak el, buang sampah merata-rata kan dosa. boleh pulak diorang menyampuk yang ni tak dosa..

Then Daneko's semua interview budak-budak ayahnda. aku malas join. Kebetulan abang Ahmad at sebelah. Die tanya "ayahnda mane?" "tu la pasal.. tak nampak" aku balas.. then ade suara "ayahnda je ke? kekanda taknak?" guess who?
Cacing 1-0 la... aku jawab la, setakat ni tak perlu lagi" siap pakat dengan kawan dia kali ni "Abang long?" "saya dah ada abang, diorang je tak de" haha... then aku kemas pinggan and cawan and duduk sebelah abang ahmad. aku ingat diorang cakap bear besar dari beg, so aku balas la, "biasalah baby saya" then dia boleh cakap bear aku tu "anak kita kan?" aku terus cakap anak aku seorang. =P

Then dia buat isyarat pelik. aku straight to the point "saya ni dah la lurus bendul.. bagitau je la" rupanya dia nak no phone or email. aku suruh diorang cari sendiri. dia tanya nama aku, aku cakap rahsia. then bila dia tanye umur aku. aku cakap la rasa-rasanya? then dia boleh bantai "mana boleh rasa, kalau tak dah lama abang rasa" dah la diorang gelak jahat.. malu gila aku, terus aku jerit "agak-agak la"

Nasib baik ayahnda muncul. aku terus lari dapatkan ayahnda. Ai ada bagitau aku, lepas aku lari, diorang nampak macam nak serang ai. itu yang ai pun blah cepat sebelum diorang tanya pasal aku. kitorang sembah hormat at semua kawan ayahnda (main ikut je). nasib baik tak pergi tempat abang ahmad tadi. Aku asyik cakap at ayahnda nak balik je. Then Daneko's asyik cakap chiyo popular la. ramai ngorat. boleh plak ayahnda bagitau 1-0 tu anak murid cikgu ismadi. then pergi mcD. aku ngan ai kene order coz kitorang je yang biase makan dekat mcD. dapat la ole-ole gelas yang akan menjadi  tanda persahabatan kitorang and ayahnda. sedih pulak bila fikir hari terakhir berjumpa ayahnda.

Baru kitorang tahu, Ayahnda sayang kitorang sebab kitorang la anak murid dia yang first. lagi pun sunyi kalau tak ada kitorang especially kak el yang paling tua and paling tak matang. (ayahnda kata out of list) tak habis lagi. die cakap pulak pasal 1-0. Mamat tu orang panggil ronaldinho.. taw sebab ape? Yani kata dia botak. salah. setahu aku ngan sam, dia ada jambul. sebenarnya mamat tu.. gigi dia mancung. hahaha.. aku cakap la, tak baik kutuk dia... kitorang sampai rumah pukul 1pagi. (umah kak el)

tapi aku rasa susah hati. aku tak boleh lupa apa dia (ronaldinho) buat. maybe sebab aku selalu teringin ada orang buat macam tu. tapi tak sangka ramai pulak yang buat. sampai aku takut and tak boleh tidur. tapi Takiya tak pernah buat apa-apa. TT~TT

tapi aku rasa budak perempuan yang ada dekat sana sombong la.. time aku tengok diorang, diorang pandang slack. padahal zon 2 and kayu ara je ada perempuan. jangan la sombong (kitorang zon 2) budak lelaki pun ada yang pandang. rasanya sebab perangai aku yang kebudak-budakan time tu or sebenarnye diorang tengok kak el ngan ai main keris betul. diorang pulak guna keris kayu. ayahnda yang bagitahu..

tamat sudah diari shiro ni.. tu la kisahnye.. malas betul menaip sejak jadi admin..XD

love story..

well.. pagi semalam.. he send request open relationship at my FB acc.. ingat saje-saje..then i just approve it.. but after sometimes.. i ask him.. kenapa send request tu? simple je answer dia.. "saya suka suara awak.. tak lena tidur kalau tak dengar" sengal!!! haha.. but then feel funny and laugh all by myself.. eh forget.. dia rakam suara shiro taw.. huhu..malunya.. gediik je rase suara tu..even fad pun dengar dah... jahat la diorang..

he keep calling me for hours.. and this morning..she call me and wait till i fell asleep.. ^////^ but not like all of you think..hes not sweet at all.. coz he keep saying... tak best la tido sorang.. tak ada kawan nak bertumbuk... sengal.. then he said.. i should listen to him otherwise makan sup kaki.. jahat right? TT~TT then dia cakap basuh kaki dia cepat.. well.. i just said.. "if like this i think u should find the one that can listen to ur order.." hehe..

umur? well.. actually first he keep saying 47.. but now he said 20.. coz he really 20.. still nak panggil dia pakcik je rasanya..XD but HH pun ada hantar wallpost untung la ada orang sayang.. then i just reply.. well dulu ngorat die, die yang tak nak.. hehe.. then kak faizah cakap dia jual mahal..actually memang tak pernah pun cakap dekat HH.. coz he said BFF.. how come i bear to lose him as friend.. plus rasanya tak salah cuba mencintai orang yang ikhlas right.. im just a girl that need love.. not to love others..

then i just talk with abang azzam.. he keep saying.. jangan couple lama-lama.. tak elok.. well were not couple. we just in an open relationship. then just get married..hehe well.. not sure if he think like that..coz now i keep feeling bored and waiting for my phone to rang.. TT^TT

he just cast a spell.. well should i type the spell? hmm.. let it be a secret.. then he said he didnt like calling sayang but then he keep call me like that..errr.. i just use name or saya awak.. coz feel awkward... next week hes going to kedah.. no more time for me.. he said he will miss me.. but i dont think so.. maybe he will find someone that made for him.. and im not good enough for him... im just too afraid that he leave me like takiya.. it hurts me more.. what did i do to him until he leave me without saying anything.. he left me hanging..tought that i wont fall.. but now.. near to fall in love land.. help me to stop love anyone before im sure hes mine..

shiro chiyo miss gloomy that need a sun to shine the moon.. and to make star alive.. love me but f=dont hurt me.. its pain and i cant hold it anymore..

bukit cahaya

haish.. ingat lagi..dulu nama tempat ni bukit cerakah.. hehe.. eh nak cerita la ni.. kak el dengan lagi dua kawan die (lupa tanya nama) then dengan Ai.. pergi sana taw.. pagi-pagi dah tepon.. errr.. macam biase.. phone tak function.. dengar je pintu bilik dikuak dah terbangun.. kacau betul.. nak tidur balik dah dengar ayat ni "Bangun! Ai tepon tu.. tepon henfon tak reti angkat" adoi...dengan ngantuk plus mamai terpaksa turun.. hehe.. apa lagi.. bermula la episod bangun 9pagi..XD

keluar 10.30pagi.. mak oi.. biase time tu baru nak bangun.. maklum la suka tidur 7pagi.. so then main jalan-jalan sampai gak dekat sana.. tiket masuk bagi pengetahuan semua.. murah je.. rm3 seorang.. tapi tadi ada renovation la.. so tak dapat masuk rumah 4musim.. then of coz jalan kaki and naik bas je kat situ.. bas + Ikal? lupa la tu.. chi tak de lesen basikal... dah la tak sarapan.. masuk je hutan.. dah boleh bau daun-daun and pokok hutan.. siap terbau air kolam..adoi..sensitif betul..

lepas tu kan.. kitorang naik menara pantau tu.. (memandai je letak nama..dah lupa) huhu...gayat la.. 1st sebab tangga dasat sangat.. 2nd tinggi.. 3rd pasal kayu je.. ramai plak tu... rasa macam nak runtuh.. diorang gelakkan chi sebab  chi duk peluk tiang je..XD lepas tu jalan punya jalan plus testing macam-macam benda... sampai la kedai terdekat.. sebab pakat dahaga.. plus dah sampai sana..lapar pulak.. so beli megi skali.. klaka time nak makan.. tengok berok band! haha.. satu geng berok..siap jalan dua kaki relax je.. jalan macam manusia..XD nasib baik abang yang menjual tu tolong jaga.. kalau tak mau lapo tak jadi makan.. hehe

lepas tu kena naik bas lagi.. haha.. kelakar taw coz ada ramai perempuan lalu bawak bakul..XD die duk jeling sampai kak el cakap, "saya ni comel sangat ke sampai akak pandang macam tu.." XD then dah sampai taman haiwan tu kan.. ada satu sankar kosong. baru je chi tanya kat ai tak nampak pun burung.. chi ternampak iguana.. apa lagi..cabut la... hehe.. errr lepas tu tengok rusa.. eh rusa kan ai? comei.. then jalan sampai ke stable.. semua down.. terseksa tengok kuda kuda dekat situ.. macam sakit je.. huhu.. eh tapi kan.. ai kelakar.. dia terkejut nampak tugu kuda tu..XD paling kelakar lepas tengok kuda tu dari tempat rehat tu..baru sedar..kecik je pun kuda gergasi tu..XD dah la mata and mulut lain macam bak kata ai.. hehe

hehe.. lepas puas dah round..kitorang nak balik.. yang kelakarnya sempat lagi diorang mengumpat.. hehe.. ayat chi je la chi letak..yang lain takyah.. "eh saya pun nak jadi model.. saya kalau make up lagi lawa.. hehe.. dah la tengok anak orang comey2... anak orang putih pun ada... siap cinderella tertinggal kasut.. (kasut budak mana entah) hehe,.. then balik kawan kak el yang drive..

nak pergi McD 22.. then kitorang boleh terlepas lorong sampai ke padang jawa.. kelakar tak? hehe.. lepas tu nasib baik chi ingat lorong kanan tu.. sebab nampak macam familiar sikit anyway cerita dah sampai mcD semua dah selamat.. but.. nak balik rumah sekali lagi sesat..hehe.. adoi.. sebab terlepas lorong biasa tu la.. macam2 la.. kalau nak cerita pasal balik rumah panjang sangat so tutup story.. memalukan.. especially menyalahgunakan hazard.. XD nasib la nak buat macam mana..pakat sorok muka.. malu kot..salah jalan selamba main belah jalan..XD

my new world..

i hate this feeling.. when everything i wish wont come true..since become admin page.. feel more sad and depressed than before... chi dah mula kurang chat dengan sahabat2 chi.. dah lah tu, semuanya serba tak kena..terasa seolah-olah chi xwujud.. walaupun hakikatnya memang shiro chiyo tak pernah wujud.. sekadar gelaran yang diberi sahabat. entahlah.. mungkin chi patut hidup di dunia realiti..

kadang-kadang chi rase menyesal jadi admin page.. bukan selalu.. cuma kadang-kadang.. sebab tu dulu chi dah ckp jgn amik banyak admin.. chi tahu.. dalam serasi akan ada yang tak serasi.. chi jenis yang nakkan perhatian plus chi tak suka diabaikan.. macam tak wujud.. chi cuba delete dari jadi admin.. tapi tak boleh.. kene ada password.. tapi chi berjaya jugak.. guna password sendiri pun boleh.. but lepas tu jadi balik admin.. haishh.. tak sampai hati pulak dekat si cawan ni... mungkin dah suratan takdir chi seumur hidup tolong orang..

entah berapa lama lagi perjalanan ni. chi dah mula sakit balik.. mungkin sebab tertekan. chi dah tak normal.. chi susah nak bernafas and selalu pening.. agak-agak sampai bila chi mampu rahsiakan dari family chi? takkan seumur hidup nak sorok dalam bilik ni.. terasa tertekan.. chi rasa biarlah sampai sini je malam ni.. nak type pun rasa penat. chi terlalu jujur ke dalam blog ni? maaf lah.. chi dah tak taw nak luah dekat siapa.. mida dah jarang contact.. chi dah makin teruk mida...chi sakit balik.. chi doakan semua sahabat hidup lebih lama dari chi.. insyallah amin.. nyawaku tak usahlah panjang kerna mereka lebih berharga.. yang kusayangi..

story lagi...

huhu... its always bout me.. coz this is my 2nd diary..XD well pukul 1.30 rasanye.. kak el pop up at chi punya chatbox.. she said "Shiro! jom keluar. kita naik teksi je la" adoyai... then dok tangguh2 sampai lewat chi sampai situ.. huhu.. pergi mana? PKNS je la.. then cari tudung untuk kak el.. then sebab chi lapar sangat..so chi pergi la McD... makan at situ.. but then she said "aku puasa la" haha.. so chi dengan adik die je makan..

eh lupa nak gitau.. kebetulan baju chi and adik die sama.. so jadi bodyguard tadi.. plus benda paling best sebab kak el sangat baik.. bila chi minta dia punya glass coke mcD die bagi.. hehe..she said coz i accompany her so she give it to me.. thank you so much my best and ever sister!

tapi lepas balik tu kan.. chi sakit perut.. kenapa? sebab chi xmakan dari pagi.. then terus sumbat mcD ngan air coke.. tak cukup air lagi.. chi kebas air adik die.. malas nak refill since kene turun tangga.. lega dapat minum.. hehe

but tak semuanya indah.. coz dalam senyum ada pilu.. nampak happy.. tapi chi still sedih.. chi tak suka lagi page tu.. seakan berat penerimaannya.. bukan setakat ayat tu buat chi teringat takiya.. tapi page tu buat chi makin menjauh dengan realiti kehidupan.. asyik berharap takiya jadi king sampai bila? chi tak nak terus hidup dalam bayangan tu.. huh

before i forgot.. just now niwa send me messages.. he said he will futher his study.. at sabak bernam.. but i didnt ask much.. just wish him a congrats.. whatever happen he still my best friend.. still count as bf right? haha... dont too close wif me.. XD

feel tired now..

ehem2.. 2 days before.. satu perubahan besar berlaku sampai chi kene demam hari ni.. ape? chi dilantik menjadi admin 2 page..
Kami Suka On9 Tengah Malam..:p
Lebih BAik JAga perasaan KApel sebelum orang lain tolong JAgaKAN

agak kelam kabut gak la memula.. sebab tak pernah buat kan.. tak sama macam group.. but then seronok plak sampai tak cukup tidur.. tu yang demam sikit.. but sekurang-kurangnya ade gak yang menghargai usaha chi.. ag cakap chi berusaha keras dah coz asalnya time chi join shiro orang ke 4.. sekarang dah nak cecah 400.. huhu.. but yane wat lawak seyh.. die asyik menyamar jadi chi sampai likers keliru..
ohya yesterday mornink time chi on9 then kak el pwn on9.. she ask me whether im busy or not.. dah taw dah die nak ajak ke gelanggang so jawab la free.. well petang tu dapat gak chi visit sam mom.. huhu.. terharu coz kwn die yg first dapat pergi.. sam terharu.. XD we love u sam.. no matter what.. were always best friend.. sorry selalu bully time primary school..
then malam tu pergi gelanggang dengan hafiz skali..kak el and hafiz, they looks like couple. kitaorang singgah pasar malam dulu.. then macam biasa.. chi kena makeover sam.. then dah sampai gelanggang semua malu2 meow except kak el.. plus abg boy pwn dah byk brubah.. rambut die skunk spiky... eh i forgot.. hafiz dah ade gf.. XD then time nak balik tu kitaorang sesat.. nasib baek sampai area subang mas.. XD

eh hujan plak.. takot kilat.. TT^TT tapi ade story lagi ni.. huhu..
hari ni.. shiro sakit kepala.. rasa nak pecah.. memang elok pun hujan suh tido cepat.. XD papai pembaca kesayangan shiro.. myra, ali, ai, echah, yani, yane, ika n sume la.. xtermampu nak sebut satu2 dah..

burden for my angel..

first story, i just try this contest.. just like miss who got more like or love.. but then i see everyone got more liker than me.. ya i know all their friend who votes... but then still hate it.. its not fair.. if im wear like them i can win too.. okay fine.. im jealous.. not that i hate it.. im jealous coz im not good in promoting my vote.. XD

second story.. today too, i got other contest.. teka teki also known as quiz...oh before i forgot, kak el ask me whether we should go 4 gelanggang or not.. ya, coz 9jun their going to pahang.. like usual..demo.. eh of coz i say yes... i really miss that place,.. since i left gelanggang, i never meet takiya anymore... really miss his smile...

3rd story. ya still got story..this one i thought wanna use malay but then im afraid got too many mistake.. since im not good in lingua,, one boy (of coz not my bro) he call his mom asking for money.. but then his mom said she had no money.. so he keep saying ************** too much too type.. plus must b censored.. then he keep saying dont let that B***H ask bout him, and if he dies dont she (his mom) ever dare to step or see his graveyard.. how come he said like that.. i always wish my mom will always b with me, coz she my heaven.. my angel... shes my everything...

and last story since all of u must b tired reading my bad english.. im still in bad condition..my illness just came back.. welcome sick papai my health.. huhu.. maybe coz im too worried about everything and think too much.. please dont pressure me..im too scared wif everything... everyone keep blaming each other.. they keep telling that teen like me just a burden.. but no matter what.. i cant say they a burden.. coz i really cant live without them... please dont say im a burden..

do I care?

fuh.. like i care.. plus dont make us shame.. as a women wheres ur manner? nak suruh orang hormat, tapi lu kasi hangat, nak suruh orang respek, lu buat wa benci.. haa.. nak tahu kenapa chi kurang ajar malam ni?? tak nak baca pergi tutup la.. nak baca baca je tak de yang larang... tak padan under age baru 14 dah gedik.. hello.. ingat cun sangat ke? takkan la orang nak cakap depan-depan...fikir la sendiri.. lagi satu... aku tak suka kau sebab kau dok perli-perli aku.. hanya sebab aku tegur laki tu, takkan la nak ngorat kau.. die tu 20 up okey.. plus dah ade gf..

eh nak tulis lagi ke? tak yah la kasi kau glamour kat sini.. mamat yang invite tu pun same gak la.. tak cakap kau sorang je ok.. dedua aku tak nak campur dah.. rosak reputasi aku as budak baik, tak pernah guna aku kau.. tahniah orang ke2.. pasal kawan kau sangat bertuah.. aku ceritakan balik semua rekod-rekod kes aku.. except rekod sekolah.. part tu memang sampai bila-bila aku nak kekal rahsia.. eh myra.. ni pasal mamat yang myra sebut tadi..

eh yang lain, chi tak marah korang taw.. plus yang dah tahu tolong jangan bagitahu sesiapa kalau korang betul kawan chi.. bukan ape, kalau boleh tak nak ingat memori tu. tiap kali teringat mesti sesak nafas. tolong jangan tanya ye, shiro masih trauma.. shiro cuba tersenyum dan bergembira.. macam ai cakap, kene cuba lupakan seketika masalah tu.. so please ye semua

eh ade satu lagi.. pelakon juvana si ain tu.. ingat tak nak approve.. but die approve semua fan die.. siapa cakap dia sombong.. siap chat dkat chatbox.. dkat wall tu shiro tolong balas je..heeee.. mau tension die tengok.. ade gak budak makan kaki.. eh tak nak kaki.. XD nak abang comey... siapa? jeng3... masih mencari...

hidup terlalu rumit

betul ke perempuan fitnah dunia? betul ke perempuan tu sesatkan lelaki? ya allah, kalau chi cuma akan menyesatkan mereka, chi tak nak hidup lama-lama.. kalau tak menyesatkan pun chi tak nak hidup lama-lama gak.. sebab menyusahkan semua. dah besar pun manja lagi.. ada masalah je lari rumah, ada masalah je bunuh diri... last2 sampai dia pun amik dadah sebab perangai chi..

chi dah penat.. dulu asyik ulang alik hospital.. sekarang dah beransur pulih datang lagi cubaan hebat.. sampai chi sakit balik. kali ni biarlah chi pergi dengan aman.. dah penat layan masalah.. memang chi pengecut.. takut hidup diatas bumi. dulu chi memang berani.. semuanya mudah.. tapi sekarang...

chi tak mintak mati, chi cuma berharap kalau chi ni cume satu bebanan atau fitnah kepada mereka, maka tariklah nyawa chi.. entah lah.. chi sendiri tak pasti apa sebenarnya chi nak.. perhatian ke kasih sayang ke atau sesuatu yang indah dijanjikan untuk orang yang beramal soleh.. maklum lah, chi sedar chi bukan alim ulama,. bukan nye ustazah..

sihat takkan kekal.. allah yang tentukan,, chi tak kisah dah sakit.. walaupun chi ni kadang-kadang takut mati.. tapi chi kadang-kadang rasa tak sabar.. kenapa? ye lah.. lagi lama hidup kita semakin takut.. peperangan dimana-mana, gempa bumi siang malam,  banjir tsunami pagi petang... entah lah.. sebenarnya lagi takut nak lihat masa hadapan.. tak tahu bilakan berakhir dunia ni.. apa pun chi harap biarlah chi pergi dulu sebelum ahli keluarga yang lain.. chi takut kehilangan diorang.. tapi kalau doa chi ni dimakbulkan.. chi harap sangat mak chi baca entry ni.. kenapa?

sebabnya.. adik sayang sangat kat mak.. adik tahu adik banyak buat salah and selalu menyusahkan.. tapi adik tak tahu macam mana nak mula luah perasaan.. adik nak cium tangan and minta maaf macam orang lain.. even hari raya pun adik tetap tak dapat luahkan.. memang dah ditakdirkan anak mak ni pandai menulis ayat macam ni, tapi tak pandai cakap.. mulut pulak terlalu jujur sampai ada masa terlepas kata.. mak jangan pergi dulu sebelum adik.. tok pun sama.. biar adik dulu.. tak kira la adik paling muda ke ape ke.. biar adik pergi dulu..

my new bear

eh nak story la ni... finally mama chi cuti semalam.. so kitorang pergi la beli hadiah yang dah berkurun tak dapat lagi..so chi diberi rm150.. beli la ape pun.. so then mama chi bawak pergi cari bear yang dulu chi suka tengok.. nak beli fikir rugi duit.. but since hadiah right... waaaaaaaaa..

saiz? lepas ukur-ukur saiz sampai pinggang chi je.. tapi kalau peluk, memang besar dari pokok.. colour putih.. reben pink... then lembutnye.. macam kapas.. plus sejuk je bulunya.. bulu pun lembut.. and paling penting ringan!! bear comey3... siapa cakap sekadar hiasan? dah jadi bantal peluk dah bear tu.. sedap3...

ape pun ni la gambar bear2 comey tu..
ade lg.. chi asyik busy lukis potret je.. maklum la.. tak henti-henti mesej masuk.. chi lukis a pulak..b pulak..c pulak.. ape korang D D? takde maknanya.. hehehe.. plus ade orang nak belanja makan... king of the kong la.. die cakap nanti lepas dia balik dari kampung, dia ajak chi and abang chi pergi makan tempat favourite dia... tak main la flamingo..tempat lagi highclass.. jangan chi malukan diri suda.. XD

makcik mengong

pagi tadi tengah sedap-sedap menaip.. tetibe je cik Y cakap.. check ni.. ce baca2... ape lagi.. bukak-bukak je, makcik ni lagi.. adoi.. tak serik-serik facebook diband.. so ape lagi, chi pun mulalah keluarkan ayat chi.. orang islam pun satu, asal buruk je jangan lah terus tuduh orang tu kristian.. makcik tu islam la.. islam pada nama siap bangga mengaku islam.. kita islam ni biar islam pada agama, bukan nama.. apa sangat yang nampak kat islam jika hanya pada nama? ada jugak la chi komen-komen.. plus baca-baca komen orang,.. menarik semua...

dah lah semua gambar edit tak real.. jerung raksasa dekat masjidil haram ek? elok betol kolam jerung tu ye... kalau allah nak keluarkan jerung kat situ.. dah lama dia bagi jerung jalan atas tanah.. senang la makcik orang pertama kena makan..  then ayam yang konon-konon patuk jemaah haji.. ni memang kelakar, sebab teknik copy and paste murahan.. cube buat gambar orang lari kene kejar ayam gergasi..baru real..

paling tak tahan.. dia ni ngaku islam and budak sekolah agama... sebenarnya orang macam dia ni bukan setakat malukan islam..siap malukan agama lain.. ye la.. agama lain pun ingat dia kristian.. sampai ada yang cakap, malu tengok perempuan gila ni.. kenapa chi cakap gila? cuba fikir.. kalau kita terlalu memaksa diri untuk berfikir diluar keemampuan seperti seorang manusia apa jadi? gila lah.. chi cakap macam tu sebab dulu chi pun selalu fikir, macam mana allah cipta manusia, macam mana pulak bumi, tanah langit.. zaman dulu macam mana.. mahu tak gila.. sampai doktor chi marah sebab berfikir l;uar kemampuan orang bijak pandai.. tengok, orang bijak pun tak nak fikir, kita fikir apa yang allah suruh dah lah.. (doktor chi seorang wanita beragama india)

macam-macam ada.. macam2 pulak tu dia label rasulullah saw n allah swt bukan ape.. buruk beno orang lain baca.. jangan la cari cara nak famous macam tu.. macam2 chi komen... huhu.. tak suka dia buruk-burukkan islam.. dia patut bersyukur sebab bijak agama, tapi dia salah guna.. rasanya dia jadi ustazah lagi bagus dari terjemahkan kitab sampai jadi pelik... siapa yang baca mesti marah.. dia cakap rasulullah tu gatal sebab kahwin dengan aisyah waktu aisyah kecik.. then ada lagi.. dia cakap diharamkan makan babi sebab tu dewa yang bersaudara dengan allah.. dah nama allah tu tuhan yang maha esa.. bila masa pulak ada kaum kerabat

adoi makcik-makcik..betul-betul gila la..tu la..siapa suruh sekolah agama dulu..kan pemikiran sempit.. bukan ke kita ni kena seimbangkan dunia dan akhirat..jangan terlalu akhirat.. nanti jadi macam tu la.. sampai tak nampak dah mana satu betul and salah.. malu seyh... tapi la makcik.. chi taww makcik memang suka bab-bab lucah tu.. siap tayang gambar benda lelaki tu.. takkan chi nak type kot..censored la.. lagi satu, tak payah la nak ber TOR sangat... kenapa? chi nak kongsi dengan kawan tak boleh la makcik..cian diorang tak kenal makcik..

lagi satu jangan nak tafsir alquran ikut kamus sangat... macam bm kalau guna kamus.. tak tunggang langgang ke ayat? tengok ayat chi.. ade macam suka awak saya. takdekan? jadi kena la fikir logik.. jangan bekukan otak.. teringin tengok makcik ni macam mana rupa.. sesedap rasa kritik kejadian allah.. mana tahu sebab lubang hidung ternaik ke, tu kot yang suka sangat menyebut kaler pink tu.. makcik tak teringin ke masuk agama lain? bukan apa.. makcik cakap islam terhebat.. tapi tetap kritik..  makcik try la agama yang makcik rasa pakej lengkap... allah tu maha mendengar makcik..

cukup 44orang cakap.. makcik kepala pink oink2.. jadi lah makcik oink2.. hehe.. adoi.. makcik oh makcik paham ke ayat omputeh last tu? yang dituju khas buat orang kristian yang baca tu.. marion ape ntah namenye.. makcik pun tak payah paham.. sebab chi dah tengok.. tu khas buat orang kristian... anonymous je lah kot namenye.. haha.. well.. chi suka sebab gaya penulisan anonymous je lah sebab dia punya ayat best.. ayat speaking omputeh tu ha... chi kan suke speaking london... betol tak cik Y.. eh makcik.. kenapa tak boleh komen kalau tak de email and name.. then satu lagi website.. adoi.. malas la nak type email.. plus.. website? mana ade website selain blog and facebook.. kalau guna, nanti makcik stalk chi.. xmo3... tatot la.. hehe..

lagi satu makcik ni gile kan lady gaga ek? macam2 posing maut ada.. ke makcik suka orang pompuan? maklum lah cakap tak hingin dekat laki... plus makcik ni nampak low standard.. huhu.. bukan membezakan kasta.. plus dalam islam tak ada kasta.. cuma biasalah.. chi tak suka sangat orang yang low standard yg cetek ilmu. tapi kalau yang low profile takpe.. ape beza? peribadi dan darjat la.. peribadi mesti lah kene merendah diri and tak berlagak macam low profile.. low standard ni.. orang yang kurang beradab.. kalau guna english karang, kena lagi bahasa tinggi.. maklum la followers semua orang malaysia..

adoi.. sakit perut la makcik.. banyak sangat gelak... (actually salah makan) papai..assalamualaikum.. makcik xmo stalk ye.. tatot3... maklum la.. chi sekolah kebangsaan.. bukan pondok or agama.. bukan takot makcik.. chi takut ceramah makcik.. takut terpesong akhlak.. manusia kan.. XD

King kong kawan baru chi

ihari ni, chi rasa sakit hati sikit.. kenapa? entahlah.. maybe coz tak pernah dikurangkan perhatian.. susah hidup didunia baru ni.. ingat, mulai dari saat tu aku bukan lagi diriku yang disayangi semua.. tak semua orang akan beri perhatian lebih dah, terutama atas kesalahan chi dulu.. sekarang fikir menghadapi dewasa.. jangan sesekali fikir masalah yang takkan selesai.. think positive!!

eh lupa pula.. assalamualaikum kepada yang membaca.. (tak jawab dosa.. jawab bukan setakat pahala dapat.. macam2 ada...) cerita ngarut chi malam ni.. hehe.. ada la orang ni add fb chi.. ala.. ni special punya kes la, tu cerita.. errrr namanya yang betul adalah dibawah lindungan akta.. chi pun baru tahu nama dia.. macam mane chi tahu tu orang special? sebab time sesi temuramah.. dia mengaku, dialah yang digelar king kong.. chi cakap kat dia.. kingkong mana tahu cakap.. lain kali suruh orang panggil transformer la... besar and pandai cakap.. ape la diorang tu.. orang tu manusia dipanggil king kong.. rabun kot...

then chi sembang macam-macam siap dia cakap, rasanya belum lambat nak wish birthday chi...so chi cakap la, dah selamat lahir kedunia.. boleh je nak ucap bila-bila... siap tanya nak hadiah apa.. haha.. but chi cakap tak payah la, coz abang chi tak suka chi rapat dengan kawan dia.. then only dia cakap abang chi yang suruh dia add.. tu baru dapat teka siapa dia.. king kong ni, abang angkat abang chi.. plus selalu protect and belanja abang chi.. haha.. sekarang baru tahu.. ceritanya bermula di suatu petang...

dalam perjalanan balik dari taman tema air panas hari tu, biasa lah kitorang cerita apa entah sampai bab kingkong tu tetibe.. saja je gurau.. cakap nak kahwin dengan orang kaya.. tu yang mak chi cakap, "boleh lah abang kenalkan dekat adik, dia tak kisah hensem ke tak, janji poket tebal" then chi pun jawab "tak kaya tak apa, asalkan tak marah chi, cakap lembut je, sebab chi takut kena marah.." apa lagi terus abang chi cakap.. "king kong ni baik taw, cakap pun lembut.. tak suka marah-marah..kaya pun kaya... cuma tak hensem je.. badan besar" chess.. laju je dia cakap camtu.. so chi dengan seelamba berkata.. ok, suruh dia add faceebook adik.. haha..

bila difikirkan kelakar..nasib baik tadi takde apa-apa yang kingkong cakap.. takut gak dia terperasan lebih.. jawabnya habislah chi kena penggal dengan abang chi sekali lagi.. errrr.. kantoi suda pernah kena penggal... ni mati hidup semula la ni.. eh melalut pulak.. pasal king kong ni.. dia siap cakap, kalau abang chi buli bagitahu je dia.. almaklum la abang chi ni takut dengan dia.. kalau ngan chi main sepak terajang.. ngan si kingkong nak marah pun tak boleh.. besar sangat..

nak buat macam mana.. chi ni bukannya macam semua orang fikir.. tak hodoh tak cantik, tak kaya and tak miskin, tak sihat dan tak sakit, and most important cengeng A.K.A kuat menanges... huhu... TT~TT   plus jenis manja and gedik sikit.. sikit je.. plus chi anti budak gedik especially yang buat-buat gedik and lembut depan lelaki.. chi tengah cuba ganas la ni, tapi nak buek camno.. ese memang gini dari dahulu kala... but bukan gedix tu ok.. just jenis lembut tak de tulang.. yani suka la tu baca.. haha.. im not invertebrate ok... XD

cerita panjang-panjang pun tak guna.. korang yang tak de blog.. bila nak buat? penat la baca story sendiri.. nak juga baca tulisan korang.. so lepas ni boleh chi speaking tunggang langgang chi balik..haha

Tun Dr Mahathir bin mohamad

bosan asyik cerita diri, so tu yang shiro merapu macam-macam... tapi ada satu pesanan penaja.. (semua kemudahan ni ditaja) hentikanlah menyalah guna kemudahan internet dengan sebarkan maklumat palsu.. penat chi baca, DR.M itulah, inilah.. kenapa chi marah? chi tak marah, cuma tak suka.. sebab chi sangat-sangat menghormati Tun Dr Mahathir bin mohamad.. cakap la chi ni apa pun.. sebab tanpa tun dr mahathir, takde internet ni, speed reading pun siapa yang bawa masuk ke malaysia? tu ayat omputeh berbakul chi tu, kalau tak kerana ayat dia yang best, tak adanya chi minat english..

ingat lagi pendidikan sivik kena tulis idola saya.. chi time tu tulis pasal tun dr M la.. banyak gambar dia dalam buku tu, sampai satu sekolah tahu, puncanya cikgu tu tanda dalam kelas abang chi, so ramai yang tahu dah idola chi selain dari florence nightingale.. apa ye nak cerita pasal dr M? beliau lahir 20 Disember 1925.. so tahun ni 86 tahun.. tua dari nenek dan datuk chi... huhu.. and beliau ni, tak takut nak bidas orang.. ye la, benda betul.. berani kerana benar, takut kerana salah. dekat asia tenggara ni, dialah yang paling lama memegang.. tapi tahun 2003 rasanya, dia letak jawatan.. apa-apa pun terima kasih sebab buat KLIA, KLCC, twin tower and macam-macam lagi la..

chi suka gaya dia, jenis jujur tanpa selindung, walau dengan orang atasan.. biar dipecat, dari teruis bertindak bodoh.. huhu.. then ada juga buku dia, dilema melayu.. ala,,. yang kulihat melayu ku layu tu...

Aku lihat layu dalam Melayu
Aku pasti bukan aku seorang saja yang nampak
Ada juga bercadang bertanya tuan punya
Tapi bercampur risau dengan tak tergamak
Nanti dikata tak bersyukur, dikata tak sedar diri
Jadi aku menyendiri, memerhati dan akhirnya mengakui
Yang kita sendiri
Membiarkan bunga raya melayu ke kanan
Dan dibiar bunga tak cantik mekar di kiri

Aku lihat layu dalam Melayu
Tanah air kita yang punya
Kita siram, kita baja tapi angin api kita lupa
Mereka merancang masa menjilat bangsa

13 harimau bertukar menjadi mangsa
Kita lupa nenek moyang kaya-raya
Jangan sekali-kali digadai harta-bendanya

Ku lihat layu dalam Melayu
Ku lihat layu dalam Melayu
Ku lihat layu dalam Melayu

Takkan Melayu hilang di dunia
Ya... tapi apa guna tak hilang di dunia
Kalau kewujudan tidak dirasa
Petah berbahasa kudrat tak berjasa
Orang berbudi kita hanya tahu merasa
Selalu lari bila dirapat
Selalu malu bila soalan diaju
Selalu segan memberi pendapat
Rela mengikut dari meneraju
Belum nyanyi sudah bersorak
Suka berjanji dalam borak
Bukan kata tak ada otak
Cuma tak berfikir di luar kotak

Ku lihat layu dalam Melayu
Ku lihat layu dalam Melayu
Ku lihat layu dalam Melayu

buat sahabat

kadang-kadang hati ni terkeliru, berbicara soal hati dan perasaan, membuatkan aku menjadi gundah.. aku merasa seolah tiada apa yang harus ditakuti, namun memikirkan apa yang terjadi, membuatkan aku serik untuk bermain dengan perasaan.. biarlah selepas ini hanya orang yang bergelar suamiku yang membuatkan aku mencintainya sepenuh hati. bukan kekasih sementara...

kenapa chi tak selitkan kasih dan cinta kepada allah? bukan tak nak selit, tapi, mudah untuk kita bercakap, namun sejauh mana kasih kita itu? orang zaman sekarang, mampu mengatakan diri alim ulama', ustaz, haji... namun sukar untuk melihat kasih sayang itu.. kerana allah tidak memperlihatkan perasaan seseorang seperti terpamer wajahnya...kenapa allah tak pamer perasaan seseorang? bukan tak mampu, sedang kita tahu tiada apa yang mustahil bagiNya.. tapi kalau boleh melihat perasaan itu, bukan ke kita semua akan bergaduh? kita boleh tahu perasaan benci seseorang, kita boleh nampak dia suka, then kita nampak niat baik dan jahat mereka.. mesti ramai orang tak nak keluar rumah sebab takut orang tahu perasaan itu.

adoi,.. termasuk jugak topik agama,. sebenarnya chi menaip hari ni sebab nak bagi galakan kepada semua sahabat-sahabat yang nak futher study.. ganbatte.. jangan takut dilambung ombak.. itulah asas menaungi sebuah lautan!!! eh paham ke diorang nanti? maksud chi biasalah dalam study ada malas and tension.. tapi habuannya, ganjarannya.. memang best kan? chi memang tak nak sambung.. sebab nak jadi surirumah..


myra cakap, dia suka baca semua cerita, especially pasal takiya.. rasanya myra tu minat cerita cinta je kot..hehe..  siap suruh panjang-panjang lagi.. mau tak tido malam teringat takiya tu... asyik mimpi ngeri je...

cerita pasal apa ye? pertemuan kami la.. heeee... malam tu macam biasa, lepak gelanggang silat tengok ahli-ahli DN berlatih.. then tak lama lepas tu muncul lagi sekumpulan lelaki yang bukan berlatih. tapi melepak.. bau rokok gudang garam.. mana chi tahu nama rokok tu? biasa la.. dah selalu curi dengar orang cakap.. jangan bagitahu orang lain ye..

dia tu macam pemalu je.. tak pernah tegur pun.. tapi sejak tu tiap-tiap minggu dia datang.. tapi still senyum je... sampai la satu hari.. ada mesyuarat untuk persatuan.. persatuan duduk sebelah kanan, then dia duduk sebelah kiri.. so chi pun cakap duduklah belah sana.. siap angkat barang semua dah.. then dia cakap, takpe2.. bukan ahli. malunya..

berapa hari lepas tu, dia add facebook kak el... kak el la cerita semula.. kononnya dia ni siap bagi salam semualah.. sopan je cakap.. haha.. siap mintak tunjuk ajar... tu yang kak el bagitahu "type shiro chiyo.. tu la dia" time tu just accept je, sebab dah nampak semua ahli DN mutual dengan dia.. then baru tahu lepas cerita dekat ahli-ahli DN.. chess.. tertipu lagi.. lepas tu mula la bertukar no phone.. hehe.. selalu dia call.. sebab asal chi call, dia cakap "tengah dota la sayang" memang itu lah panggilan yang dia panggil chi dah lama-lama.. first dulu die panggil Ika.. errr.. chi ke? chi panggil dia abang la.. dah time tu dia 20tahun..

ada sekali tengah chat.. dia cakap dia demam.. parent overseas... time tu risau sangat.. tapi siapalah chi ni kan... bukannya bidadari turun dari kayangan.. biasanya dia demam pun boleh bergurau.. tapi hari tu.. dia semacam menyampah dengan kata-kata chi.. entah lah.. teringat pulak lepas dah break.. cikgu zaman ada bukak story... pernah dulu chi time jalan ngan sam and yani, ada kereta ni penuh dengan lelaki.. buat bunyi tikus.. so lepas dah jauh.. chi cakap kat sam.. teruk betul la perangai.. malang betul awek diorang.. rupa-rupanya... dialah pujaan hati chi.. haha.. jangan membenci sebelum mengenal siapa mereka..

eh tetiba teringat satu story kelakar pasal dia.. sebelum tu dia dah msg chi suruh datang awal ke gelanggang.. tapi chi kan tumpang yani and kak el.. dia siap dah pesan kat kak el.. tapi,.. biasalah.. ada la sorang lagi lambat bersiap.. so sampai lewat 30minit... tapi yang kelakarnya.. dia cakap nak tolong potong rumput.. tengok-tengok menumbuk punching bag... haha.. then sape entah cakap dia terdengar.. cikgu zaman ajar diorang tumbukan bagi awek jatoh cinta.. but then..sam je la tergoda.. maaf ye.. tak tergoda setakat tumbukan dan tendangan tu..

cerita kami tak romantik.. tapi meninggalkan kesan.. lain kali cerita pasal klon ronaldinho pulak ye.. itu lagi best...

new face for my blog

actually i still like my old layout.. but in the same time i want to make a change.. so wif yani help, this is the results.. hehe.. thanks yani~chan..Watashi wa anata o aishite.. now looks more cute than before, but.. my cute fruit.. its gone.. TT~TT

so apa pendapat semua stalkers dan pembaca? even lagu pun dah ditukar sikit.. plus yani jugak lah kena buat,.. chi malas nak letak lagu balik... takot terpadam pulak layout baru ni.. tak rety buat balik. hehe.. maaf ye yani, sampai tak bagi pergi mandi tadi.. huahuahua.. adoi... tak sopan betul chi ketawa. lepas tu tengok blog si chipsmore tu.. haha... sangat2 cun... layout tu ye.. agak-agak ika and yang lain ada blog tak ye? chi nak jadi stalkers...

eh semalam chi buat lagu ke2 taw.. hehe.. sekarang dah ada dua buah nota lagu.. tapi baru dengar satu hasil je.. tunggu penyanyi ni lambat sangat nak rakam suara. maklum la suara perempuan kan aurat.. mana boleh chi yang nyanyi.. tak tidur malam mimpikan chi nanti.. hehe..tapi kali ni tak nak buat si penyanyi tu marah.. lagu tu hanya kami bertiga akan dengar.. seriously masih terngiang-ngiang lagu first tu.. sangat2 menyentuh perasaan.. boleh menang awards lagu tu.. semua tu bukan jasa pencipta lirik dan penyanyi.. tapi orang yang susun not.. pandai dia susun...

hadiah shiro tahun depan.. make sure tempah music box dengan lagu first single chi taw! kalau tak.. chi makan koi sorang-sorang..

my 18th birthday

Allah selamatkan saya... 2x
Allah selamatkan shiro chiyo...
Allah selamatkan saya....

terpulanglah lagu apa.. tapi inilah lagu terbaik sebab sentiasa mendoakan keselamatan manusia tak kira umur dan waktu.... bukan sekadar selamat lahir.. sebab kita telah selamat lahir, maka kita telah menjadi dewasa pada hari ini.. i mean, happy birthday, just safe be born on this world.. but we should remember to pray they always safe and happy.. ^__^ sorry bad lingua..

okay fine.. lupa story asal. hari ni chi pergi taman tema air panas.. walaupun cuma ade abang ngan mama, sebab ai tak jadi pergi, tetap best. and tak rugi walaupun agak terkejut sebab lengang je...haha.. cerita pasal semua ke? susah nak ingat sebab asyik berenang (baru belajar berenang). maklum la, macam kolam tu depan rumah chi je. sebab kami bertiga je main dalam kolam paling dalam...

cerita pasal lemas sikit la.. ceritanya time kolam dalam ni la.. lantai bawah tu memang licin.. then abang chi suruh terajang air.. so tanye la terajang tu macam mana... so die pun sepak la...akhirnya baru chi ingat... chi pun sepak gak air tu.. entah macam mana terslip so jatuh dalam air... huhu.. lemas kejap.. terminum air.. abang chi bukan tolong,.. gelak je. selain tu asyik jelajah semua kolam.. maklum la de 3-4buah keluarga je.. plus semua peramah. suka pulak orang-orang negeri ni... tak sombong.

then got spa air panas too.. i like it when my bro wanna make a girl fall in love wif him.. but suddenly she appears wif her boyfriends.. haha.. plus no one can challenge me.. i cant walk in that hot pool... and only me who can walk around the pool.. others just put their leg.. everyone said.. "budak tu ade ilmu kebal la. cuba tengok" then i said... lets go to our first pool.. everyone look at me..., feel so embarassed.. actually first tu just nak berlagak dengan abang chi.. huhu..jadi femes tiba-tiba.. seriously tak sangka lewat sampai ada hikmahnya. coz only open at 1pm-10pm.. no wonder la tak ramai. plus hari sekolah kan.. :P

then ajak abang chi main kolam baby, budak, mainan... haha.. dia ikutkan aje.. coz today im their agenda.. mama chi cakap, actually nak belanja karaoke since chi suka sangat nak menyanyi. but chi pulak teringin nak mandi kolam air panas.. so dia tukar plan la.. plus i dont  wanna be a singer.. suara chi merdu macam katak.. hehe.. tak baik kan doa macam tu.. huhu.. lain tak payah cerita lah..ehehe...

lepas tu gayut dengan shah.. hari nie die jpj test.. so i should say something.. coz dia mesti sedih sebab tak lepas ujian2... dia sepatutnya tak tarik handbrake sampai habis. kalau habis, memang la berundur. =__=.
cakap je dia.. chi dulu lagi dasyat.. first time ambik lesen, terkejut tengok jpj.. tak jumpa gear..haha.. lagi buruk perangai..

then gayut dengan mida.. suara dia macam azwa la...haha..comel pulak bahasa mida. tak dapat bayangkan seorang yang ganas. macam2 cerita ada.. sampai cerita merapu pun ade lagi.. gayut sampai fiq suruh telefon pun tak layan. lepas habis dengan mida, gayut lagi.. dengan abang azzam pulak.. lepas tu tak de battery.. banyak kali call putus.. cian dia.. then dah 12 lebih tak free.. so dia pulak call.. kejap je sebab putus lagi.. so chi suruh gayut esok la.. malam ni kena charge full.. so esok boleh gayut..haha..

seriously satu kelakar, tapi nak tulis ke? bahaye la tulis semua kan? so chi tulis part chi je la.. part lain dirahsiakan... hehe.. ade orang tu kan.. asyik cakap muka chi merah.. walaupun hakikatnya ye, chi tetap cakap, mane ade, xde maknanya nak malu... hehe.. sebenarnya bukanlah malu sangat pun. just tak taw nak cerita apa. tadi pun, banyak diam je... so dengar lah dia pasang lagu.. hehe.. tapi, tahun depan dia nak ke mesir.. shiro dah sunyi la..

plus susah hati coz, everyone keep lefting me,. andai itu takdirnya, ku terima dengan pasrah dan ku akur dengan kehendakNya yang diatas sana. sesungguhnya hanya Dia yang mengetahui segala yang tebaik buatku.

akhir sekali ucapan khas... dari hamba yang pacal lagi hina... mohon ampun kerna tiada daya hamba mahu membuat walang dihati tuan hamba sekalian melainkan hanya bermadah sejujurnya yang datang dari hati nan ikhlas. kerana ini perasaan yang seharusnya disemat didalam persahabatan.maaf kiranya hamba seringkali lancang berbicara... adakalanya gurauan menjadi ghibah.. sempena kehidupan hamba yang genap 18tahun.. hamba ingin mengutuskan warkah ini..

kepada adinda dan kekanda sekalian.. ika, yane, myra, ali, ai, shah, yani, sam (kalau ada), mida dan abg hasz..tidak lupa juga kalau ada nama yang tak dicatat.. (pelupa) terima kasih sudi membaca karutan hamba selama ini. moga allah membalas jasa dan melindungi kalian.. andai masih ada esok.. akan hamba coretkan sabuah demi sabuah cerita hamba. andai tiada lagi hari esok.. maka, dendangkkanlah lagu-lagu alunan pencerah makamku.. diri ini terlalu banyak dosa, terlalu hina pada pandangan hamba... sedaif orang yang lemah imannya.. belum layak terbang bergandingan dengan kalian yang pantas lebih kaya dengan iman..

assalamualaikum warahmatullah hiwabarokatuh... lailan sa'edah.. oyaasumi minna..

kenangan mengusik jiwa

tiba-tiba hati ni jadi sayu terkenangkan si dia yang tak setia..dulu orang first chi akan call takiya.. tapi dia mesti cakap, abang busy la, tengah keluar makan dengan kawan. ada apa yang penting ke? then chi cakap.. abang orang first ika call.. oh ye ke? happy birthday la, nanti sambung... akhirnya.. tiada apa dapat kuluahkan.. inilah hukum karma..semua kesalahan chi dulu dah dibayar. dibayar dengan cinta yang dah buat chi hilang seluruh kekuatan.

chi sedar, bukan salah dia... salah chi sebab tak pernah menghargai orang dulu.. memang patut dia tinggal chi tanpa pesan. biarlah terluka sekarang dari terluka kelak... biarlah luka semalam kekal.. menjadi pengajaran hidup buat chi. pertemuan terakhir kita hanya buatkan chi rasa benci guna nama ika tu.. tapi tak mungkin chi ubah nama tu kan? HH pun nak panggil chi ika... sama macam takiya..

tak kisah lah.. anyway.. orang pertama wish birthday hari ni yane.. then abg azzam... 3rd ammar, 4th fikry, 5th aiman rastaman.. ingt lg die ek.. hehe.. 6th sikin, 7th baru ika (chinta)... 8th kak faizah... 9th apitt majid.. 10th! remy...yang lain belum wish.. thx yg top 10 nie... hehe.. eh jap... ummy kolsom wish sebelum ika./. (baru ingat dan edit post)

ai cancel nk ikot esk.. so tggal mak n abg je.. TT~TT abg azzam plak, >/////< so sweet malam ni.. HH tak answer my call.. so gayut ngan fikry je..

packing for holiday..

yuhuu... esok chi xonline facebook... malam online la... hehe.. coz tomorrow me, my bff ai, my mom n bro pergi pedas linggi.. taman tema air panas... ^____^

tomorrow gonna b best day, coz 18mei.. takkan tak tahu.. birthday chi la.. hehe... esok birthday chi, so nak wat semua ahli sci rindu dekat shiro... yang tak rindu diam-diam suda... merajuk nanti baru tahu.. yea yane... tu la punca chi tak online.. jangan salah faham.. tak jadi nak off facebook coz otherwise ill miss all of you...hehe..

jangan lupa post kat wall chi happy birthday.. nanti bukak kosong sedih pulak... penuhkan wall shiro da howaitoberi dengan wish dan charm dari kamu semua...

chintailah aku

cinta.. unik tajuk den malam ni.. den guno bahaso nogoghi ni bukan apo.. atas permintaan budok-budok grup den la.. grup mano? sempoi carik ilmu.. maaf orang nogori, den ni anak jati selangor.. tu agak buruk bahasa ni, kalau nak ngajor pun buleh, dialu-alukan..

ponah bocinto tak sumo stolkers? ehem2.. jujurlah dengan diri ekaw sumo.. (macam ahli sumo pulak dah) gini, nak dijadikan cerito... den ni gatal mulut pergi tanyo abang azzam den... dio ponah bocinto tak.. so dio pwn jawab.. ponah kocik-kocik dulu, time sekolah.. so den pwn xjadi tanyo donga camtu..tapi dah duk tanyo gak, den bantai la soalan... den ni pulak mulut tak sayang.. slambo den jo cakap, den nak cari laki cam dio...dio ingat den minat kek dio.. dok tanyo den, suko abang ek? den dongan torjatoh atas katil.. bukan jatoh bawah katil.. torus den cakap, mano ado! dio tak cayo plak dah.. dio cakap lagi, ekaw kalau suko cakap, abang tak marah..den pun slambo jo cakap.. den tanyo pasal den dah suko orang lain!

sobonarnyo.. den maksudkan, orang yang den suko ado dopan mato den macam abang azzam tu, bukan nak jenis samo.. ustaz tuu.. tapi ado satu yang polik siket pasal dio.. dio ni kadang-kadang panggil den adik cun.. kadang-kadang adik miut, kadang-kadang chi.. n last paling tak tahan nak golak.. dio panggil den sayang,,, omak den pwn xponah panggil gitu..

then shah ado suruh den doakan dio punyo test rabu ni.. siap mintak petuo.. den bukak cito jpj test den.. pasal jpj yang romantik tu,. takut den kono hujan.. caring betol la jpj tu.. siap kasi lulus walaupun mulut jahat mengalahkan kiah propa.sonang jo.. naik tu ekaw buat muko.. time tu dio mesti tolong punyo la, tak yah control cun.. jpj tu sumo dah berbini siap ado anak.. den tahu la jpj den tu sendiri cakap.. tak payah tanyo.. ingat den nak jadi mak tiri anak ekaw ko? haha..

chintailah aku, tak kono lah kalau takdo selit topik ni, dongan ini den ingin menyatokan.. den ingin dichintai ekaw selamo-lamonyo.. itupun kalau ekaw memang suko den.. kalau tak suko nak buek macam mano.. den bukannyo ahli sihir nak campor akar kayu, bangkai tikus.. nak buek ekaw togilo-gilokan den.. hehe.. moga ekaw jumpo pasangan ekaw copek-copek... tak dolah den dok melangut mengharap.. bagai pungguk rindukan bulan.. entah bilokan dapek den sentuh..